When counting the days on the calendar, I needed to count them twice, cause I can not believe that 28 days have passed. Time is an interesting element, although you know it passes, sometimes it moves so slowly, but then when you look back, you just realize how much has passed.
So, I am in a sort of denial regarding the number of days that have passed since you left home. I wonder if you realize that it is almost one month since we are separated. It hurts.
And the unknown is difficult. It often feels like a bad dream, and I am waiting to wake up and see that it did not happen. But at the same time, I wonder what if this is actually a good dream, and I will soon wake up into a worst one. I pray God this is not or will not be the case.
We feel empty in these moments, when we are alone, and when the evening comes, and we can connect with our soul. We feel the sadness, and the pain coming up from the feet towards the legs, abdomen, stomach and throat. It is a somatic experience.
I wonder, and we wonder about you, how are you? is it still you ? do you still have the power, patience and energy to fight for life? I hope you do, and I pray you do.
I pray for all the people there, to treat you kindly, and to help you with the pain, and with all the rest.
I feel so many things about this situation, and I am not able to express them all in words.
I know you, and I know your resilience, and I know you are not alone! He is with you, and you know that. He can give you the power you need to go through this challenge that you have right now. And in any case, no matter how this ends, for you is a win win- on one side you will come back to us, home, with your family, or on the other side, you will go home to Him! I am sure He awaits for you with open arms, it can not be in other way.
But for sure, we are also waiting for you with open arms, and with more love than we perhaps showed before this event. So push through all of this! Be a conqueror in any way is best for you!
I love you always!
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