Fears that we hold

Deep inside our souls we all have and keep our own fears. The ones we never share with anyone, or we sometimes do but with very special people. This weekend was one of these moments in which such fears came across, and almost ruined a perfect weekend.
Different things bring the fears back, for me it was the mighty mountain, it just caught me in the circle of fears, and reminded me of long hidden thoughts and fears. I felt paralyzed almost, i could not move and my heart was beating so fast, like she was trying to catch up with life. I do not have a logic reason why this has happen, is just that I felt blocked and afraid of everything. Conversations become more and more difficult, words were stuck in my throat, very difficult to be pulled out. The person at the other line of the phone was struggling to understand why this reaction, which is not really a normal or common reaction. I am not common. I am anything but common.
I hide in my heart various hurts, things that are locked away, but sometimes something triggers those memories back, and then is when fear strikes.
I am not sure if this kind of reaction pushed back a bit the people around me, but is actually this which is called vulnerability, is this what makes people come together and relate as friends. And I chose to be vulnerable, vulnerable with those i believe they deserve to know me a bit better.
Of course the hope i held is that they are not playing with me, although it seems like they are. I am strong enough to deal with them playing with me, i get more strength in the Lord, and I ll survive this challenge as well, But pieces of my soul will remain broken, the map of perception is slightly changing and chances of being confused are slowly increasing.
The benefit of the fact that fear is settling inside my heart is the need of being close to the nest, and the family, and that is what triggers me to actually belong to someone and something. The need of feeling protected and safe in the family. And this is what was the choice during this weekend. To spend quality time with my family, as throughout challenges there is not much that can be done, just run to them, and be happy there , feel safe. This is what is simply required to catch back your breath and to relax.

September is almost here

it seems like it was a dream, and now is all gone. Good time flies fast, and this is exactly how this summer was. Amazing experience full of travel and adventures, discovering new things and places. Good friends, old ones and new ones, around me, and of course loneliness as well. It was a very good summer, and i am very thankful.

I am approaching Autumn so fast, and seems like there is no one around to celebrate it with. I wonder what is in the plan for me, i know i should wait and listen, as for sure there is something more to this like always, but i m just to anxious to know what is next.

I am putting in a lot of effort to do my job again, i like to do the things the best I can. I just hope i did not overstep into a role that i can not manage, and i am afraid of failing. On the other side, if failure is not part of my life....then i just lived in vain.

I should embrace failure more, both personally and professionally, it will give me the strength to continue and achieve greater things.

Overall i m happy, i would say i am content, i am blessed and i know God is in control. All good things are happening and will happen more and more, as he has something ready for me.
I just need to continue and keep my faith in Him, cherish and follow Him, which i want to do.

looking forward for what Autumn will bring in this city, and the colors of this place, i plan to enjoy it to the max.

A song to meditate on the importance of life and the passing of time

Recently I ve received an interesting song, that I really enjoy listening. It gives me a different perspective, and makes me remind and rewind my entire life.
time is passing so fast, and the life we have is a gift, so it needs to be lived properly

Fantastic experience....and now what?

another fantastic vacation in very good company, loads of joy and fun and quality time.
Greece is a beautiful country but this time, was even better.
It was one of the best , if not the best vacation i had so far. I felt accepted, loved and cherished, and it was with brothers and sisters from church.
I have doubts now, doubts on how things will move further, this time, i feel like the right thing is going to happen, i m praying for it

August reloaded ....4 days to go

Time is passing fast when you have good people around you and when you feel like you are accepted and you belong. This is what is happening in my life right now, time is flying. This week all is well, then weekend and going to the seaside, or to some other place. Is like I am getting time to relax and discover new things. i feel good. And i like my life here in this big city.
I m liking the city more as i m discovering it with the right people around. And it is great!
I ll miss him so much when he ll go home. But for now, i am fine to enjoy and cherish him. And i m sure he is as well.
But in 4 days i ll get into one of the adventures of my life, holiday again!!! Greece here I come!
I m looking forward for this experience again with the right people around. I just hope that there will be no challenges here and there, and all will be amaizing!!!!!

In the meanwhile, pictures to be able to stop time for the future: