Merry Christmas...

Just wanted to share the above video, as a Christmas Greetings for all the readers of any blog, so for those who are by error passing ....

Milano in pictures:):)

Memories....

While I am sitting in the Munchen airport , as there were some challenges with my flights since yesterday, I decided to take a minute and look back on something. And what my hands touched is an old discussion from July 2011 when i was in Poland. I have been reading the note froma a dear friend of mine, which i ve liked, and actually had something more for, and I find it again very selfish. It was on my birthday that he opened himself to me, telling me about his fresh relation with a new girl. Was this a coincidence? I find it very hard to believe, and looking back now at the emails we have exchanged, i see it very impersonal thing and very selfish. You could have done that with a stranger, but not with someone who you consider one of your best friends. Anyway sad story, for me to find out on my 28th birthday that the man i considered closest to me, chooses to tell me something just like that, without any compassion or consideration. Since then indeed the relation has changed, even today he is with the same girl, and well I am still alone. Which takes me back to the question: why I am alone? And the answer is very simple, or complicated, it depends from which side you are looking at it. Here is what i believe: 1. I invest too much in my professional life and my work - and this is something that it is true, cause i like what i am doing, and to be honest i am afraid to stop - cause i am not sure what would happen next. This is also connected to a fear that I have. 2. When i will be ready the person will come:) this is connected with my religious beliefs. Well this is it for today from the airport, I do hope that my flight will leave on time, and all will be fine:) Untill next time, Ta Ta!

Milan Italy

Here I am in Milan Italy, where I had a tough week and now is over. Of course I will have the time to go in details later on , for now i just want to think a little bit on paper, on how this week was from a sentimental point of view. Actually meeting again someone you liked a lot is not that easy, hence is something that happened for me this week. Very interesting mix of feelings, not necessary like they were one time. But when competition comes along I do realise that something is still there, pride? or not sure how to define this. Actually the meeting went even further, and I had the chance to actually be closer to him, and guess what? feelings were not there anymore. What is a surprise, is that my thoughts are going towards another person...... To be continued.

Fall in Cluj...

Time is passing so fast. It seems like only yesterday i was in another place, it seems like i ve just came back to my old life. But still, time has no mercy, so there are almost 5 months since I am back in Cluj. There good things and bad things, but overall I know I should not even dare to complain. I have a great team in the work. I have fantastic people, very energized and that is the thing that gives me motivation to fight more. This team is growing and improving under my eyes. It is an amazing feeling. Besides that I ve restarted with the music lessons so basically I am back in the school of art and besides that I have 2 hours per week canto lessons with a good friend of mine. What can I say? It seems like my life is slowly being painted, by me, and the people that surround me. Interesting though is the fact that despite that I have so many persons around me, I do not have real friends, I do not feel like I am opening myself as I should, to anyone, and this is not at all good. The reality as a good friend of mine was saying is that I so full and involved in my work within the company I work for, that I do not realize that life is so much more. Indeed at a clear brain level I do know that is just work, but through my behavior and my interests , I am still confirming that my job defines me, and it is my life. I do not know how to change or challenge this. I believe if I had someone special in my life, than the job will go into the second place, but until then, I just can not leave it. Also the life in church is not as it used to be again. Because apparently is no longer my priority. And I am not sure how this happened ( i suppose it was in czech rep) that me and God are somehow apart, and I am not making enough efforts to fix this gap. What else? It is not a positive note. It looks more like a cry for help ;) I am not depressed or melancholic I am just concerned a little bit. I am sharing some pictures from the last 5 months:)

Balance

Well now i have almost 4 weeks since i am back in Cluj Romania, and things are getting better and better every day. I can say i am getting used to my life and job, friends or lack of friends:) Well such is lif- sometimes you have friends, sometimes you do not. I still have the friends in Romania, but it seems like i miss the people in Poland. Interesting how you connect with people after you are not longer in the same place. It is not easy for me to be back in the old gang, when i am missing Lublin. I have some options, the rich gang which is hanging around at different famous places, and of course very expensive places, and i have the other gang, which is more modest, but somtimes is just boring, so i would want more enterteinement. Maybe i should try to know new people, and then my thirst of friends/my social life will flourish. Not that i am complainig... Now that i am writing i remembered something. I should not search for friends in the wrong places, i should be more focused in the church. By the way, today i was soo lazy that i did not went to church, well obviously this will not help me at all. So i should be focused and not miss church cause there is the place, where i should invest in order to find nice and good friends. Other than that, it s been a long time since i am alone, and i ve been alone. So let s say that part of me still would like to get involved with someone, even for a short time, which is not at all a good idea, as i will end up hurt and regreting. So i need to put my guard up, and move out of this stage of doubts, cause i do not need anyone on my side to feel good. I am a strong woman, career oriented, who has God on her side. So i should wait... and i will. Those are my thoughts in a warm summer sunday

Bitter sweet

Well i am here and as though as i was expecting this and waiting for this, it seems like still somtehing is missing. I am not sure whator why i feel like this. I came back i received a promotion and everyone is happy that i am back. And still i am looking back to my life in Poland, i was not expecting to miss that like this. It is very strange....i think i am in somekind of a depression, in which i can not find myself or my will to enjoy life, But starting Monday I will be back, full of energy, on a diet, soo, just energized to make the life worthed. I need to find myself, i am good, healthy ( almost) and in the professional area everything is going well... so why should i be discouragged? I also need God these days, cause i am very far from Him, so tomorrow i will be in church, and i will re- start to build my relation with Him, i believe that this is why i am like this. So let s see. Challenge accepted. Starting Monday a new me, and new opportunities ready to be taken. God please stand by me, as i am not able to do a single step withouth you. Thank you!

Back for good

Above is a very nice picture from July, picture which was taken at a very nice location near Orastie, Romania. Well it was a teambuilding with the colleagues from office, and it seems like i never left. Relations are still there, some friends, and good colleagues. It was a very nice time, relaxing and fun. I am just posting one picture just to have a nice reminder of this time. To be continued...

New era...

29:) yeah I am now 29 years old, since almost a week, and my life again is turning. For those of you who were following my thoughts, or just for me, i am back in Cluj, and here is where i will be for the near future. Somehow i miss Poland, i miss my independency and i miss my free space, and the dream full of challenges which i ve lived there. But that does not mean i can not live my dream here. And this is what i want to do next. I want to live my dream here, in my house withmy family, and with my friends. I am suprised that my friends are still here, of course with some changes, but in the end they are still there. I was amazed that on my birthday i had 146 wishes on my Facebook wall. I know it is just Facebook, but somehow it makes me feel like I ve touched those people in a way. Work is fine, challenges are there as well, and with His help i am sure i will overcome them. What i like currently are the relations which i have and my friends. I am amazed that after 1.5 years people are still there on my side, and not just any people, the special ones, the ones that kept me stronger whern i was far away in my darkness experiences and all. I like and love my friends, and i know somehow this can be a weakness. But guess wha, i am willing to be weak. in regards to prince charming, still not apearing at the horizon yet. Although...i am somehow waiting. And that is all for today, Blessings,

Almost over

Because recently it seems like i do not have the proper time to sit and put my thought into these pages, here i am today, writing about the end of an adventure. Yes, the Polish adventure is almost reaching the end. 4 days, that is all i have left of Poland, and then i am off to Cluj, Romania again. Who knows for how much time? Only He knows:). Well it's been an amazing experience, lots of learnings, lots of time to know my self, time to understand and to evaluate my real friends, and actually they are not that many. When you are out of the proper circle for such a long time, people kind of forget you, i know it is not nice, but this is the natural selection i guess. Anyway there are few people who stood by me, and who i am happily calling my friends. So it is the final countdown:) 4

In need of encouragement ...

I have selected some picture to encourage me today....

Hope

God will make a way when there seems to be no way. I can easily agree with the above sentence. It is so true and it happen to me several times, when i was under the impression that all the doors are closed, and yet God had kept one door opened for me, and not just any door, the right one. I am sure it will be the case in June 2012. I am sure that professionally God will provide the best for me, which can be Cluj or Czech Republic, He will make sure i am happy and He will keep me where i am most needed. In terms of personal life, i am as well sure that He knows what i want, and at the right time He will provide. I believe in this although sometimes i am doubting Him. The question is why i am doubting Him when all the other things in my life He made them perfect. So He knows how important love and family is for me, and He will provide. Now the question is, that sometimes i feel like i found the right one, and that God should just click the heart button of this person and he would just fall in love with me, well things are not happening like that unfortunately. I need to be consistent and to believe with all my heart that God will provide. Sometimes this is not working out for me, so i hope God will make me more comfortable. In our days, i found someone who looks like Mr Right from several points of view. Yet i am not sure how this will turn out. I do not want to put my hopes up and be disappointed, i did that so many times before and it was not at all good, so now i am not doing it. Today i want to give God the trust that He is expecting, the trust that He will provide in all the directions of my life. Lord, i know that you are the only Provider, and i trust that You will arrange the things in the best way for me. Thank you for being my Father, Amen.

Prague in pictures...

First picture - just reached Prague

In memory of a great item - Barbie

For those who are not familiar with Easter

One evening with friends

Dear friends:)

Asking God...

Enjoying Prague

Recap

Here i am trying to recap what new happen in my life since last time i was writing on my blog. Not sure what was my last post, so give me a minute to check:).Oao so my last post was actually in January when i was talking about success. That is funny indeed cause i can keep speaking and writing about success because i still have it. Actually since March i am in Czech republic, splitting my time between Prague, Ostrava and Brno. And success is still with me, but again the decision point is here. Question of today is Romania or Czech Republic? Going back home or taking another chance? Well this week another decision will be made, and this is how my life will turn now. I believe God, has the pen in His hand, and He is watching, and enjoying my life and my challenges, and my stress on what should i do, when actually He already knows what is best for me. No matter what will happen I know that He is the one running my life, and He is the one that will continue to guide me, and to protect me as He s been doing so far. So dear God what i am trying to say is that i am letting myself in Your hands, i completely trust You, and i know You already have a plan with me, and it is better then anything i could ever plan. So thank You for Your gifts, never ending love, forgiveness, and strengths that You are giving me on a daily basis. I am Yours. Amen.

And I am back...

I know, i ve been out of the blog environment since a long time now:) not that so many people were missing me here, but i guess i was missing writing so starting tonight i am back, and i ll update my blog in the meanwhile..Happy Blogging!!!

Success - still with me

I am not sure now if i ve already talked about success and how do i see this argument. Well i guess everyone likes being successful. But how do we measure success? Do we measure it in money? in lovers in what?
I believe success is correlated to God, i believe when you have God on your side for sure the success will come is just a matter of time,
I had some bad times in the past weeks, and i was feeling very down, still thinking around the career vs family topic, hence it seems now i am better.
Why?
because every time i am down, God finds a new success, a new achievement which takes me back to the right path.
So yes, i am the winner of 2011 for a GB project.
I am sure not all of the "many" readers of this blog will understand what i am writing here, but this is my blog so it is for me that i write this.
I am successful.

These days as well my team members have 1 year in the company i work for, so for tomorrow i ve prepared them a cake, champagne (no alcohol), nice diplomas and we are going out tomorrow night :)

I hope it will be a nice time, and i hope people will have a nice day.

So this is it,
God thank you for your opportunities, thank you for making me step back up when i am down.
:)

Amin!

Hindi music

I am not sure how many European people listen to Hindi music.
Well i am one of these people, i can clearly state that i love hindi music.

There is something in their rhythm and lyrics and sounds which takes me out from any corners of future depressions.

Although i do not understand the lyrics (only a very small part) i still love it. It makes me happier and i just want to dance, and dance , and dance , and dance:)

I am very open towards music, but what is happening to me when i am listening to hindi music, does not happen if i listen to any other music;)

So for me, it is the key for avoiding depressions, or feeling lonely.

Maybe it is worth a try.

For sure it will make you feel batter, you just need to try it.

I am giving some options below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2InFLc2GWc&feature=BFa&list=PL2D829C819ED7E7CE&lf=BFp

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyxswccv-VU&feature=BFa&list=PL2D829C819ED7E7CE&lf=BFp

And there are more and more song, of course not to forget about the great song Sheila ki jawani, which took me on top of the world:))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTmF2v59CtI&ob=av3n

A Lab nose:)

What can i say? I love dogs!!!!!!!

I always have and i always will.

The other day i was feeling a little down, and i went for a walk through the snow, lost in my thoughts. As i wanted to buy something from a store near by i went into that direction, and in front of the shop, there was a lady with a white lab:).
Of course dog feel when someone who loves them is approaching and she turned around, and she was looking at me.
I have not resisted, and i gave her my hand to smell me, and she kiss my hand with her cold nose, and like she felt this was not enough for me, and she jumped and gave me a cold and wet kiss on my cheek.

It was an amazing thing, and i was so happy :) It changed my day, and made me miss my two dogs which are at home.

But it was a good thing, so thank you lovely dog for a sweet evening kiss!!!

For all those in need or wondering

I am sure that whatever you are facing God is there, and His hand is holding yours.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zo3fJYtS-o

No longer Coca Cola

Well in the last post i was talking about resolutions, and as i said i do not have any resolutions for 2012.
Hence something happened.
I am not drinking Coca Cola anymore:). This is such an achievement for me, not sure if for Coca Cola is the same, but for me is amazing. Sometimes i really miss it, but i am getting used to not drinking it. So what can i say i am happy.

New Year -resolutions?

Well Happy New Year!!
Is 2012 , although some people thought the world will never reach these days. I know i am skipping the updates about Christmas but i will try to come back and speak about Christmas time and the joy I ve had this year.

But now i just want to stop the time for 10 minutes and think about the past, and about the future. In fashion is to have different resolutions for the New Year, and write them down on a piece of paper before the New Year's and then after some time (10-12 months), open the lists and check what was done or not.

Well i ve done this in the past, and it did not worked as i expected. So this year i did not do it. This year i will keep the resolutions in my heart and in the hand of God, and then we will see what will happen.

Of course i want to focus on different things compared to last year, i would like to keep the focus on my career but as well give a precious part of my time to God, and to relationship's in my life.

2012 looks like a good season for me, i am happy and i am open to new challenges and new opportunities. I will keep my sense of humor of course :)

God bless 2012 and keep me near you, wherever i will be.
Thank you!