Christmas spirit?

Almost Christmas and i am back in Romania with my holiday for holidays. Things started well with a corporate party which was not that bad, hence it seems like i am getting older and older and i forget how to party. Anyway it was not such a failure as i had a good time.

And then another session of lies and disappointments came. I thought i was use to this, but i am not. I was under the impression that things are now on the right direction, and i found out as usual the last one, that things are not that good. What can i do? I guess not much, just pray to God to fix all the things which are not working currently.

Also, i had some good times because i spent time with my friends and i am getting ready to go to Italy in just a couple of days. This is a good news i hope:) We will see when i get back.

in the meanwhile i had a meeting with a friend from my past, and i ve realized that feelings do not go away so easy and so quick. Although it had been 4 years, since i ve seen him, and spoke to him, i found myself very nervous and smiling, and somehow in love, with him:(.

I thought i was over him, but actually i am not. Amazing was God's power in this, as nothing happened (except for a couple of kisses), because i had the power to tell him, that i am not the same girl he met 4 years ago.

Anyway this meeting made me thinking again, about my life and my loneliness and everything. I just wish things were different. I wish i had someone to count on from all the point of views. I wish to have a family, a husband who will love me for what is inside me, not what he can see on the outside.

God i am asking you to make my prayer come true. I need a shoulder, i need a friend, i need someone who can love me. Please help me !

At work all is good, i am now waiting for the final confirmation regarding my future, which is again in God's hands, and He will make the best of it.

This is it for the moment from Cluj Napoca:)

Have a lovely evening!
And God Bless!

Love Hurts

In order to continue in line with yesterday's topic, love vs carrier, today i would like to spend some time thinking about the sentence Love Hurts.
Is it true? or it is just an old saying?
So currently and also in the past i have found out that the sentence is actually true. Love hurts. Most of the time, when you fall in love, the other one does not share the same feelings, when he is in love with you, you do not share the same feelings, and when you both have feelings and you could make it work, it is not possible due to various circumstances. Is kind of getting frustrating for everyone involved.

This is the story of my life i guess. It is a long time now, since i was involved in a serious relationship, and i kind of missing it. Having someone to hold you when you are sad, or lonely, having someone to laugh with about any stupid jokes, feel loved by someone.

I miss all these things, and i am starting to think when will i have them again. Maybe is my fault, maybe i am doing something wrong, but i am not sure what.
So love indeed hurts.


Also in between the love hurts images is the friendship zone. Now the question is can a boy and a girl just be friends? My answer will be no:) Why?

Because all of the time someone has more than friendship feelings towards the other person....so ...keep out of such situations.

Just a friendly advice...

What else?

Today i have thousands thoughts in my mind? Why, i may ask myself? Why you are hurt when you did not know you had those feelings about something or someone. Life is cruel, and God has his own plan, and several times it is not in line with our expectations. Well we just need to carry on living the life we have, and be happy about it. He has his plan, and his plan is perfect for us.
Of course my worry as of today is again regarding having a family and settling down.
If i look around me at all my friends and people i know, they are slowly settling down, and getting married , only i , i am the one focused on her career.
Sometimes i feel like i am focusing on my career because i do not have anything else to focus on. And actually it is kind of true, because if i was involved in a relationship, a serious commitment i would not spend all my days worrying about my career, my team members and my employer.
Or maybe this is just the comforting idea to think that actually this is the reason for which i am so focused on my job, but in reality, this is how i am, a woman focused on her career, and actually it is an advantage that i do not have a companion because i will make him unhappy, due to the way i treat my work.
Now this is my dilemma for today, should i focus on searching love and a partner, or should i just continue to run for having a career, for being a role model for my team?

December is here

Well, the above picture says it all. I have a small tree, who is meant to fill the space in my lonely existence here in Lublin.
The days at home are passing very very slow, i feel so alone. I am no longer scared in the house or stressed like i used to be, now i am just ALONE. I fell alone, and i am alone.
I am counting the days, 11 to go:) and i ll go home again for holidays. I can not wait.
Another kick today, so finally another chapter of my life is closed. A chapter of lost affection and maybe even love, i will never know. But maybe it is better like this. At least i am not the one standing against other people happiness.
The right person will come for me too, only no one knows when. I really wanted this person to be the one, but clearly is not.
I am to weak, i get involved so quick, i trust people, and get hurt. Not once, not twice but several times now.
I wish i would be more cold, and i wish things would be the other way around.
But God, who sets all the things in the right place, will give me another opportunity, more reachable for me.

God, please help me out with this,
I am asking you with all my heart,

thank you!

One month break ??

Well having this blog is not as easy as i thought :)
I never have enough time to sit and write the things that i have on my mind.
perhaps now that i am alone in Lublin i would manage my time better. Basically i ve been home to Romania, had a blast with my friends and family, and now i am ready for 2 weeks of loneliness in Lublin.
My Joy is at home in Romania with my family, and i ll be back there on the 16th of December.
time will go quickly i am sure, but not on weekends, cause weekends are the hardest time to be alone.

Anyway, i am not bad, will keep you all posted

Is December Christmas spirit all over:)

Let us not forget about Jesus during this time:)