Time has come?

I know,
i know there are too many posts for one day,
Well it s been a productive one, or actually is been a day with several concerns, such as love, marriage, houses, money, God and everything.
It was a very productive Saturday, but the one question that remains at the end of day...is ...has the time come?
For me to buy a house?
Well having a house, means that you are finally a grown up, so i guess time is here, cause i m already 30, and if is not now when will it be?
The second thing is even if time is here, money are not.
So then does it make sense to get in loans and be in debt in order to fulfill a dream?
Some may say yes, other might say no, well what should I say?

I ve been thinking all day about pros and cons for this. I ve written 7 pages in my notebook, cause as always when i m stressed i write a lot, and the conclusion is that I should at least try.

Is better to try than to regret.
So i guess if God will open this door, that means i will have a house,
if not, means i m not ready yet for such a responsability

Reality already hit me though. The truth is if i was in 2 now , meaning with a man beside me, this would have been different, and this decision would have been taken quicker and with much more certainty than now:)

Anyway does not matter, I have the Mighty God supporting me, so let s see how it will go.

That s it for tonight, Sunday is waiting...Blessed Sunday in Lublin ' s church!

Love you like a love song

This is the kind of love that i want, that i like, and that i have at a certain level.
Music is a huge part of my life, so why should love not be correlated with a song?
The title of this post talks only about a love song, but it can be any kind of song, there are no restrictions.
I just want music to ve part of my feelings as well.
Now i have this opportunity to feel music running through my veins and at the sametime to have feelings of happiness , joy, which might turn into love somehow.
Iam not that keen in going into more details cause the matter is not simple, but what i know is that life is full of surprises and you never know what waits for you in the corner.
You for sure wish to have what you want behind the curtains but still something is there waiting for you.
Here in Lublin life is great and I am meditating to a lot of things that happened recently, decisions pending for an anwers, facts happening which you can not stop, seasons changing etc.
What matters is that i am trying to find the best solution for every little thing, even if sometimes the solution is not the one i want.
So ....i ll enjoy further my days in Lublin, falling in love with the beauties and memories i have here.

Defeat...

Today is a bran new day , is a day of decision, is a day of looking back to the things you could have done differently and you didn t .
Does it make sense to keep looking? Or you should just close the books and move further?
If is not meant to be is not meant to be.
You can learn a lot from this experience, You are now in your 13 year without your own place, so I do not really understand the rush, the pressure. Why are you so afraid?
If you will not manage now, you ll manage some other time.
You did the right things, no need to keep thinking over and over again to everything
And as mentioned if is not now, not today, is because is not the right moment.
So stop worrying and stop being concerned, and just put the problem in His hands.
Why is it so hard to do that? Well you of all people should know better, because you have been busy playing with your life, ignoring the One and Only God, and now, there are some gaps you ll need to cover,
That s why you do not feel comfortable to let him be in charge.
Well there is no other solution i m afraid, you have tried everything, connected to all your friends, and you ve sadly realized that you have no friends....
So next time when your phone rings with an invite for a drink, a party of just a coffee think twice, cause you are good for entertaining people, and people use you, but when you are in need there no one there,.

Story of my life actually. Always you try to be there and support with small things ....but whenever you are in need, looks like there no one there.

Also the other thing bothering you is not that easy....you should put it behind. Is almost time. This is not helping anyone. Stop thinking about what other people feel or think, there is no point, it will not fly.

Let life follow the natural course, and keep your faith in God, he is the only constant in your life.
This is just another lesson, for you to understand once and for all.

Found the perfect song, for my feelings
Hope I ll enjoy;)

Ready, steady...Go!!!!

Tommorrow I m travelling to Lublin Poland, my home:)
Very excited to see all my friends and my team members there.
Happy to see again the places where i use to spend my time, to smell the city center air, the history around the small and lovely town.
Reality is that I ve spend a lovely time there, bein lonely, happy, sad, joyfull, thinking about lots of things, meditating , discovering music, love and making a success story out of my career.
I miss that time, i miss the ability of coming home and actually getting the time to do whatever I wanted.
I miss the time when i was able to take a bath with candles, in silence.

I miss the SILENCE, and the PEACE.
I hope i ll be able to find both of them the next 11 days.

In the meanwhile I will use this opportunity to clear my head, and to acknwoledge and appreciate that god things come to an end.
Cause this is how i feel that all good things come to an end.

Nothing else to share at this stage
But notes and postes will keep coming.

And again this is the place where i can put down my personal thoughts and worries,
and is my secret corner of meditation.

Fun fun fun

In my day to day job, as is clearly mentioned in my other posts, there is a lot of stress, and effort to make things work, but from time to time there is as well FUN, lots of fun , jokes, and games.
Two weeks ago was such a lovely time, when we had some visitors from India, UK and Italy, and we went out for a business dinner, and some drinks.
It was an amazing time, for us, and as well as for our guests. I was more than happy to see that actually everyone is having such a good time.
I m proud of myself and of my team that we are actually able to do both things, work and have fun:

Here are the lovely pictures:

Love is all around

It seems like indeed love is all around me!!!
In the month of September ( I am counting 31st August as September) I was invited to 4 weddings. So is this the truth? Is it really that love is all around, or 2013 is just the year of setteling?
I have both categories, I have the ones that are in love and believe it was God who brought them together, I have those who made sacrifices for a decent relationship and now they just need to get married, as otherwise why they sacrifice it all? I have those who have been cheating in the past, and now the marriage is somekind of reddemption, or a special bottle from which cheating and lust will never come out.
And I have a last couple who seems normal, only she is a workaholic.
hmmmm
All of the above make me thinking if is love or just coincidence. Are people in love, or they are just weak and they are embracing marriage as the safest way not to die alone?
Not even sure what to say.
Now the question is what do i want? or how will i know when/if the moment will come that it is for real and that i am not just setteling?
Where to my mind, the people that are planned to be married, they need not to be deeply or maddly in love, but to know each other, to know their thoughts, their behaviours, their biggest fears.
Love is something that will go away soon, friendship and trust is something that will bound people forever.
If you do not know your partner, why jumping into marriage?
Maybe you are just 2 strangers under the impression that you know each other.
Maybe is love that matters as the Bible confirms.
But does the Bible mean Love as in Love? or love as in understanding or friendship or what?

Will come back to the topic....

Set fire to the rain....

Days coming and days going,clearly an evidence of the time passing by. They say that once you ve crossed the bridge of 30 years old, some things in life will change, while others will remain the same. I am challenged to understand how and what changed in me, in the past one month. I am not able to spot so many differences.
I get the feeling that I ve lost the picture prior to 30 and I was focused on 100 different other things than the ones that actually matter and impact the future.
I ve always seen myself as young and indipendent, while actually I am not, and deep inside, I have the same basic needs like anybody else.
And for sometime now, i keep thinking about different opportunities to be happy, and what is the unit measurement for happinees. 
Is it correlated with how many time you laugh with one person, is it correlated with inside feelings? with hear beats?
I am very curious to understand how different people measure their happinnes...
Funny though....when you find someone, who has the same definition of things like you do, when words in your mind, are on someone else s lips in one second...is that coincidence? or is it knowing someone to well? or is it special?
Too many thoughts in my mind right now, i need to sleep on some of them, and tomorrow will answer to some more questions....

In my way of measuring happiness today, I can confirm I am happy!
Not sure if it will last, or if is the right measurement applied, but NOW, I am happy!

Night!