Christmas day - Celebration

 It's here! The most wonderful holiday of all year is here. Christmas! 

And how beautiful it is! To be spending it with family and very close friends. It is such a time of joy and celebration. I am very grateful for a wonderful season of Christmas with the family. Grateful to have them, all of them, mum, sister and pets, as strange as it can get, they are all mine, and I can not be more grateful, for having them. 

It was a very quiet time, taking pictures and sharing gifts. It feels like it was one of the nicest Christmas in a long time. Perhaps because of the space, decorations or just the fact that there were carols every day in the house, it felt like a very special time together. 

The pets also felt it, cause there was like more love around them. 

It was very nice. I continue to pray for everyone that does not know Jesus to find Him during this special holiday, and to accept Him in their hearts. 

Life with Him is lived at fullest! 

Winter wonderland

 Here is the middle of December, a corner towards Christmas and all the joy of Salvation. 

It is interesting how the human behaves in these days, the hope is raising in all areas of life, and you start to see good things everywhere. 

Would be good to use these glasses on more occasions than just Christmas.  

I am excited about what the season will bring, I am praying for this and I hope that good things will come my way. 

It is very exciting all that is going on. 

Obsessed over a nice song :

Control control ...is not really working

 Wanted to have a November post, before the month is ending. The reality is that although I am at home majority of the day, working or doing something else, I did not stop to write down other thoughts or ideas on the blog. 

But i want to close the month, by meditating to the fact that no matter what we do, we can not control the things around us, and that happen to us. The only thing we can control is how we act to circumstances, and sometimes it feels even that is very hard to be done. 

This is exactly how the past two weeks were for me, wanting to control everything but being in the position to accept I can not. 

And in the end I did, and things are a bit better. I am grateful for this realization. 

Happy November! 

When God surprises you ...in amazing ways

Is November already, and fall is here. All the leaves are falling down to the ground and landscapes are simply amazing. Had the chance to roam around a bit and see the beauty of this season. Of course it was not enough, it never is. 

But this is not the topic of my post today. The topic of my post today is related to surprises from God, and how in days when you least expected He finds ways to tell you that He is still there, and He has not forgotten you. 

And then you just remain in awe and you can not stop your heart, your mind and spirit feeling grateful. 

Yesterday was such a day, when out of the blue God just showed me again he is listening carefully to my prayers, and that he is providing answers, i just need to open my eyes and see them. 

From the unexpected he open again a door or a window of hope. Hope that was lost, and that might be lost even when i write this. But just now, hope is there, and I choose to believe Him, and his love. 

I choose to believe that God has a plan for my life in the most intimate way possible, And that He is just waiting for the right moment to let the things happen for me. When i bought a token looking towards that part of life, i bought it with the faith that i will reach there, and from yesterday's gift, i feel like there are chance i will. 

I want to be faithful, and i want to talk to God about this every step of the way. I want to be the right person for this project, for all the parties involved. I choose to put this thought in his hand, and know that He is in control, and no matter all the other things or people involved, His will will be done. 

I am just happy! :)

 

Worry less, enjoy more

Sometime back i was pretty worried about this trip with some friends, if i can call them friends, as i did not knew them very well. In the end it all went fine, i ve managed to connect with some of them very well, but not with all. I had also some very nice adventures, i ve managed to take a very long walk to be able to see the surroundings of the zone, including a very nice monastery.  I also experienced many feelings in this trip, so i think i am more in touch with my emotions than i use to be. I have experienced a different palette of emotions from joy, excitement and content to fear, anger, frustration and disappointment.

Almost all these feelings were related to one person, and one main discussion we had. The thing is that i am still unsure what triggered me : the fact that this was said, or if it was true? Or maybe the fact that i was taken by surprise and this was not the scene of such a discussion. 

Anyway, i was very sad, and upset by the conversation. And i think this relationship will most probably not recover anymore, although i would like it to recover. But what is done is done. I think for that person it was a bit unacceptable my behavior, but at the same time for me as well it was a bit rude, and it kind of hurt me. 

What i ve learnt from this experience is that i need to worry less, and enjoy more. I spent many days thinking about this trip and worrying about how things will be, and what kind of discussions will happen, but in the end, it did not matter, cause things anyway happened, as they happened, and i could not do anything about them. 

Next time, i can just take the trip and see what happens while i m there. All in all it was a discovery episode. I have discovered myself more through that conversation...and i learnt stuff about me and about others. 

I hope to get more chances with this person, to be able to fix the relationship if it is broken, and i hope we really moved on and there are no hard feelings. But i do not know that...i just see that the communication is pretty rare, but it was like this before the trip as well. 

So i have no clue. I am looking forward for other learnings and interactions in various groups, and i hope for the best! Worry less, enjoy more! my motto! :) 

 

Feeling stuff

Very rarely, such as today, i start to have a rush of emotions and i do not know what to do with them.

This is the case now, when i am going on a trip with some friends, but not quite good friends, so i am a bit nervous about how things will go. Also i am nervous about not having a car with me, so that means i am fully dependent on others, this is an interesting learning, that i do not like very much, hence i am forced to experience. 

More than the people that i do not know, i am nervous about someone i know, and that triggers some additional feelings in me. I can not be such a child, i need to manage my emotions better. There is just one thing I need to do, and that is keep cool and do not friend zone him. 

If you are able to do this for the entire weekend you are a winner. 

The rest does not matter, do not add additional pressure on yourself. You are not responsible of anything, you just need to take care and enjoy yourself, the rest is all as is. Everyone is mature enough to take care of themselves, you are just there to have a good time. Stress is not good, you will loose your hair, so chill woman, just chill. You have this. 

You have been in circles with far more men, and far more people that you did not know, and things went fine, so why do you worry ?  

Father, i ask for you mercy, help me calm down, this is just Business as Usual, so please breathe, and calm down. 

Enjoy! 

A working vacation

Took another shot of vacation, travelling a bit and seeing some of my dear friends. Being in a pandemic has some advantages, in the sense that you can work remotely from any part of the city, country or even world. 

The only thing you need is the internet connection, and being able to keep your laptop charged and ready to be productive. 

In this environment, and considering all of the above, i took the chance and went across the country to Bucharest to see my dear friends. From there we spent sometime in Lehliul, which is a small village near Bucharest. 

A village where the time flies very slow, and where the good mood is present everywhere. 

I am thankful also to have spent quality time with my friends and their wonderful daughters, and i have seen sunsets and sunrises, so it was a great time, 

as always, pictures speak more than words. 

A story about a family...my favorite one

 I do not know much about families, and even less about Christian families. I do not know much about the love of a father, unless is the Heavenly Father, and here i still have many things to understand, but when i think, look, talk, spend time with this one family, i feel like i am understanding more, and i end up wondering...considering if this is something i would like in the future. 

The wife in this family, is a friend of mine, a friend for more than 10 years now, but one that i never considered it would last so long...cause i always felt we do not have many things in common. And yet, here I am , and i consider her one of my best friends, and my advisor, and one of the few people that i can be free to cry with, which for me is such a huge and intimate thing. 

Let's call her the Mountain Lady. The name is not a random name, cause i think in years she spent half of her age climbing on different mountains in Romania and not only. 

The husband in this family, is someone new, someone i had no connection with, but someone who left a strong impression on me. Let's call him the Canadian Man. I remember when i first saw him, and had the chance to talk to him, at a New Year's Eve event. I was amazed by his knowledge of many things, there was no subject that he was not knowledgeable about. And i m not referring to that arrogant know it all kind of guy, but rather a satisfying conversation buddy. From Scriptures and God, to Music and Dance, Business and Medicine, kids and gadgets, books and travel....he seemed he had it all together. 

That is when i was convinced he is such a good fit for our Mountain Lady (Girl) at the time:). 

These two were just perfect for each other, or at least they looked like. Their wedding was one like a fairy-tale, where people were just there out of loyalty and friendship, and it felt like a big happy family ( Greek family:) - noisy, singing and dancing, playing games, and joining their union with shouts of celebration and joy. Till date, i have not see any other wedding like this one. 

It felt like home :). And boy they looked beautiful, painted out of a romantic book. What i knew is that behind that beautiful paintings there was a lot of courage and strength to do the things together. They were both able to overcome the unknown, and probably their fears, and move further for a life together. 

A life with blessings :). Cause soon enough a small Rock came into their life, a Rock with blue eyes, and blond hair, a picture of a cute and kind angel. That child had the power to get under your skin. Her cuteness, curiosity and shyness, made her get deep under your skin. And i do not think there is anyone who is not found of the little Rock. 

Looking at this family, i see the normality and the struggles of day to day life. And i see that marriage is not an easy thing, but is such a beautiful one. I see what is written in almost all the books i read on the subject, love, respect, care, patience, beauty, support...and even more than that, i see sacrifice and see each other cherish one another....is a great image. 

I see them battle the quotidian, specially with the world moving so fast, and i get inspired, and i m not the only one :). I am inspired because of their authenticity. Is such a rare thing to see, and is so sad, that in our Churches...this is lacking so much these days. But in their house, in their car, and all around them, this is what i see. And i just love it! Life is not about being perfect, is about stumbling and standing up again, is about making mistakes, and picking yourself up to try again, it is a journey, and i am blessed to see glimpses of that through my eyes, when i look at them. 

Life is good, and more blessings came into this Canadian family. They say no house should have a blonde without a brunette :). So everyone was extremely happy to welcome in this family a newborn baby simply picturing Life. 

She melts your heart, just looking at her. And together you feel like 1000 stars are falling down the sky, i can not describe better the emotion. Blue eyes, perfect smile and happy! God is good, when you see the miracles around us. 

They say i do not like kids, and is true. I like parents first. And then the kids....they just follow, the love spreads and you can not contain it anymore. 

I like this parents, the Canadian family, is one of the most inspiring families you would ever meet. I promise. They are important people in many people's life, and even though sometimes their ministry is not clear, i think the ministry is there, and is just by being themselves, and loving others. What things that simple authenticity drives in others...is inexplicable, cause it comes from God. 

Blessed to have them, as close friends, blessed to have them as F-A-M-I-L-Y.  A picture for a thousand words: 

Life with kids

 Those who know me, would not say about me that i like to climb mountains and that i like kids. Well i actually like both, but not in the same way everyone else does. I like climbing small mountains by foot, but with very little effort, so that i can enjoy eye dreaming on the top, and loosing track of time. Or better i like just to take my car, drive on top of a hill or a mountain, and admire the view, till my eyes get tired. 

Tried this with many people, and there are only few ( i think just 2 Irish ladies) that can just stop and stare for ever. 

About kids, the same, i do not like kids who are all over you, and who are crying all the time, and kids who s parents are not cool, or i m not connected with. But deep down inside i like kids, i like watching them, i like playing with them, but i also like to know that i have permission for all these things, i am just polite when it comes to kids, like with dogs. 

I like when people ask me if they can pet the dog, or i like to ensure that my dog does not bother anyone else around. In this way i managed to build a great relationship with one, or two let's say , special kids. The one i love very much is called Rock :) . And she is blond with beautiful blue eyes, and a smile that melts your heart. 

I love to spend time with her, i love to hear her talk, and hold my hand. Always i am keen to spend time with her, and is amazing how kids can enter in your heart without you realizing. 

She is amazing, and she calls me Lochi. When i hear that name, it makes me happy! 

Sometimes is refreshing to spend time with kids, you feel energized, and you feel like you did something for the day, even though you did not do much. 

It is a miracle, that probably i will never understand. 

Sometimes i wish to become a mom, although most of times, i m telling to myself that i don't. 

I am not ready to face all the emotions around the children's matter, but for sure i am ready to continue the adventure, and to grow the friendship of Lochi and Rock. 

Pictures again, speak 1000 words better than i would ever be able to express myself. 

A story about...a Lady

 My story today is actually a small biography, or an intent to put down a couple of rows about someone very dear to me. She has been a constant presence in my life, for more than 6 years, actually i do not have a fix date in mind, i just feel like is been a long time since she is around. 

And yes, you all got this right, i'm talking about a she, and she is one of my best friends. As she is a very complex person, i think i will not be able to put my thoughts down, and to be able to give her a right description, or even a half description, so this should be treated as a glimpse of my dear friend the Lady. 

I choose to give here this pseudonym The Lady, because she is truly a lady. She has this mix of fragility with power and strength, sometimes you think she will never recover from the life kick's but, she comes back stronger then ever... and that is when you remain astonished, and acknowledge that is indeed her fragility that makes her stronger. 

Deep down in her core, in her heart, she is a fighter, and someone who is very determined, to make a good lemonade, when life decides to give her lemons. 

Coming back to our story, The Lady and I, we kind of started the relationship intentional, she did not seem like a person with whom i could have much in common, but out of that intentional focus and us slowly spending time together, i have come to realize that we have things in common, and that in some ways we are very similar.  

I learnt and i continue to learn many things from the Lady, things like how to focus better, how to slow down when i feel that someone is chasing me, how to take each step at the time, and be ok with walking slowly. I am learning to fight against preconceptions that people might have about myself, by watching her reactions to different situations, i am learning about family, and how you can be useful and happy in the family God placed you. 

Sometimes i am thinking why is the Lady spending time with me, and what can she learn from me, cause often times it seems she has it all together, while I am still struggling to find my way. 

The Lady, gives you that image of clarity, and royalty, and cleanness, and brightness. She is so attentive in her dressing ways, she is very feminine, and she is doing that without even trying so hard ( or at least this is how it seems). She is coming straight from the pages of great novels, such as Sense and Sensibility, or Jane Eyre, she is very knowledgeable, in many topics, you can not be bored in a conversation with her, i find that very refreshing and challenging at the same time. 

She is one person that is continuously fighting and not allowing the past to define her. And that is a skill these days, when everyone seems to decide what they will become just by looking at their past, being it with mistakes or without. She is sometimes allowing herself to dream big, even though she knows that dreams come true very rarely, but sometimes they do. 

I admire her faith, and the fact that despite her struggles, she is always able to come back to the Root of all things, to God, and ensure that she is reconnecting with Him through all the channels. That requires resilience and she is a very resilient Lady. 

Life did not treat the Lady only with good things, but also with some difficult ones, and i can see is the passion of taking each day at the time, and fighting with weakness sometimes, physical and mental, with pain and with fear. And often times she is winning the battles. The battles, are in our mind most of times, and that is the hardest place to win. Somehow she is able to find weapons , courage and strength to win. 

The Lady is ready to take some next steps in her life, and she is ready to help others. She will do that. In a smaller or larger family, but she will continue to do that. She has the heart of a servant, which is very rare in the millennium we are living. She feels the need to help others grow. Others can vary, they start with people in her family, younger or older, close friends, like me, people from church, or even people that she does not know. She takes pride in being able to advice others, or support others with ideas, and encouragement for them to fulfill their plans and dreams. We all need a strong adviser, and someone who can journey with us towards our planned destination. 

The Lady is one of those people, that would sacrifice time and resources for someone's else is journey, as long as she can be of help in any way. I do not know many people who would do that. Even I am not sure if i m doing it. I am more of a give the solutions, and let them run with them, while the Lady, is not giving the solution, but rather helping the person reach them, and then supporting the person to implement them, encourage the person when the results are not coming, and celebrating success with the same person. This requires time and energy, which the Lady is keen to give. 

One of the Lady's passion, which again can go back to the many novels i  have red, is her passion for cooking. This is something she really likes to do. They say food is comfort, but i think, while watching her, preparing food is comfort as well. Comfort for all the people involved in the process. 

All in all, the Lady is an important person in my life, and even though sometimes we look like we are falling apart, because of different reasons, something bigger than us, keeps bringing us together. And even though at times we believe we have a black out, and the relationship is at risk, something happens and things get back to normal. 

I think this is the Spirit that keeps the brothers and sisters in Christ close together, and i am grateful this happens. I am sure in my heart that the Lady will be with a Gentlemen who will appreciate all her beautiful gifts, and this Gentlemen will be someone from the earthly place we are living, or it will be the One and Only Gentlemen who is on His way to take is Bride. 

In any way, i wish for the Lady many blessings, and an abundance of desires to come true.

As for our friendship...may it continue to grow, and have a solid foundation, may we be able to always forgive and love more, rather than having regrets for not doing that. 

As always, i cannot close without a picture, which is worth more than my 1000 words...

The Lady