Gone ... in Heaven

Good people, good people that are called early to the Heavenly Father.
this is the case of a dear person that went up to Heaven earlier
She was a lovely person, always having a good word for anyone including myself, even if she did not know me so well.
i appreciate her a lot and i did not get the time to tell her this and now she is in that special place.
this is just a reminder for that special person and for all she did for the people around her
Rest in Peace!

Temptation

From time to time you are tempted to do things. The question is are you doing them?e
If you would try to answer this question you ll need to go back and see the moments when you  were tempted and the reaction you had. I can say for myself that in the past years being tempted with a certain temptation was very hard to resist, but somehow i have managed.
Until yesterday evening, when out of nothing i did not want to resist anymore. I wanted to break the rules, the patterns of the good girl.
initially i thought this would be nothing. And seeing that there is no response to my emotions and feelings i just wanted to feel something else, and to feel that i still have this skill, and that i can be as well like other people: loved.
Ideally i should have not drive towards the sunset, but i did. When you are sad or in need of something different your mind even if is trying to communicate with you is not really able to send the right impulses to your body. Therefore i was running towards the sunset.
it was nice , nice to feel the embrace of nature once again, nice to feel the passion and the warmth of this giant that was there for a long time. Age and location did not matter anymore as we were slowly enjoying the interactions.
Signs were there from high above, as the weather changed and dark clouds covered the sky. thunder and lightning were trying to stop what was about to happen, but i was not paying attention.
And it happened.
it felt strange at first but then, it was like walking the same path that you ve walked time away. It was like laying in the green grass from your courtyard, it was embracing the familiar again.
Strange feeling....just taking you more and more deep into the temptation.
it should have happened the other day, it would have been legitimate to happen the other day.
Rules are not meant to be broken.
Now i fear that i ve opened a box that was closed for so much time. And that i m not sure how i should close it. When disappointed these are the things that happen. Do not let tiredness reach into your soul, is one of the biggest dangers in the entire world.
I am sorry for allowing myself to go into this temptation....no words further just thoughts

Over and out

it s 12:00 AM on the 12th of May and i feel empty. Empty of all feelings and questions i might have. Tired into my soul. Tired of fighting for something else, for something more in my life. I need to put all this weight down, and see what happens. I have been trying so hard these years to see if this could happen to me as well, and no matter how hard i try it looks like it will not happen.
Like today and tonight, time passed slowly and then faster, and still no conclusion. Only metaphors and people using various pretexts for this meeting. I was somehow hoping for a closure topic after this meeting. Or at least for an oppenning, but it did not happen.
this was the easy way out. i hate it when the same person is different from writing and face 2 face interactions. And this might be the case. Why should i even care?

i m disappointed, or me, of the situation of what could have this been.
time will heal it always does

Bucharest so far...

Emotions, feelings and questions

These three have some interesting facts in common. They all make your heart beat a little bit faster. If you think of every time you had a skip in your heart bit, is always related to these 3 things. And now, i kind of have them all. I am a bit nervous, i have several feelings and i have questions as well.
What is the priority for these things? what should i do? Ask the question get the answer and then the rest will follow or the other way around? Well, not sure if there is a good and clear recipe to avoid any potential disaster.
Tomorrow will be a very interesting day. It s again a starting day of a new week, a week in which all things will be normal, work and home, and nothing else. Unless....something different will happen.
If something different will happen, then all this new week will be a special one, a week in which i ll be allowed dreaming, one week in which happiness  will reach a new level.
I sure hope this will be the case,
So therefore the three things mentioned will finally be in the right balance. They will coexist, and the situation will be the best one. And all the other events for 2015, will fall rightly into place.
I am allowed to dream just like anyone else? If yes, i can see much more things happening after this beginning of this special week. I can see friends getting together celebrating special moments, and events , nature and blossom of blessed moments.
I ll be waiting for this special week, and i ll see what is in the plan, i need to remember just one thing, that God has a bigger plan for me than i have for myself:)
and this is something i can dream about the rest of my life:)