Jesus is Salvation

Amazing feeling, when you feel useful and when you feel you can bring and give something back to the people who might not have anything.
This weekend was my first trip to Oltenia visiting some families and bringing the Christmas message to them through caroling.
I was not really prepared for what I would see there, and it was a wonderful time.
I ve met several interesting people in the group we went too, and as well i was impressed by some of the families there.
Of course at a certain moment I got pulled back into my life, 10 years ago, when I was one of these people, who had nothing.
I was just left without words.
Sunday instead was a very good day, we went to two churches, well church is too much to say for the second one cause it was a house who will serve as a church later on. I liked the second one better, where the sermon was in regards of Christmas and it was a beautiful one.
I ve enjoyed it so much, and it made me go back to basics, that Jesus is our Salvation, and that He is the Light, and that we should walk always in the Light.
I came back with my soul filled with peace i guess, calm and sort of happy, i am not sure how to define it cause i rarely go through something like this.
I am glad my body supported this trip, and that I ve managed with God's help to be part of this amazing experience.
hope to get the chance to be involved more in such activities

Happy New Year almost:)

November Teambuilding

I ve actually forgot to share some of the pictures from the last teambuilding i ve organized, which was one of the best ones ever.
Basically we had fun, but as well we had the chance to know each other better and to connect with each other in a way that we could'nt achieve in office only.

So here are some of the pictures

Merry Christmas

I had a post called Merry Christmas in advance, but it looks like I ve missed the chance at posting it right on time. No worries, I am posting it today, the 26th of December, 02nd day of Christmas, and my mum's birthday.
Well what can I say? This year very special Christmas , in a new home, alone, which was good at the beginning but then it started to feel awkard.
The idea is that I was feeling very bad i left my family alone on Christmas Eve.
The plan was to go caroling with some of my work colleagues which we did, but in the same time I felt like I was again failing on God's will for me, as the people from church went caroling to several hospitals and some other people.
So I kind of wanted to be with them, but in  the end, as my colleagues were insisting as always - i made a choice, which might have not been the right one.
Basically we went to 3 places:) where we ate a lot, and at 3 AM we were so tired so we did not reach my place, where everything was ready for the guys. I was disappointed and once again I ve learned that I really need to be more selfish, and to stop caring about what others want, but about what I want as well.
I can not complain that the evening was bad, but i can not say it was perfect as well.

My only wish would have been to sing more about Jesus, and to carol more, specially in this time of year.
Tomorrow I m heading to Oltenia for 2 nights where I ll be caroling, so this should support my wish;)

More details and posts once I come back,

Enjoy the celebration!

Corporate World

This year was a very interesting year in the Corporate World. Our Corporate Winter Party was held at one of the famous clubs of Cluj Napoca Diesel.
In the past I used to like Diesel, it was the place where rock bands came to play and the atmosphere and fame of the place was very popular.
This time I was surprised to see a place, fancy as always but with a different style of music, and with different kind of dressing code.
Anyhow I miss the old Diesel, but I ll share some pictures from that specific party, and also in between I am adding two pictures from my sister's Winter party, which was held at a Famous Cluj Napoca Hotel - Grand Hotel Italia.
This time she had more fun then me:)

Good people bring the best in other people

This is one of my old posts , in regards of how good people and good things bring the best in other people, and they are sometime inspirations for others.
During November I had again a teambuilding with my team, and why i am bragging about this event is because i do not want to loose this feeling, the feeling of building a team. It was really great!
Well I saw a part of my team members which I haven t seen until then. That they are sensitive people, caring about each other, vulnerable people, and also willing to do lots of things to achieve their dreams.
I was proud of each and everyone of them, and I was surprise to be nervous as well.
I ll add some of the pictures another time...for now...just one:

Family Portrait

Surfing the Internet I found a lovely picture that belongs to my family: my two lost brothers.
And from this picture my thoughts started to go away, and regrets came in, and as well pride for a moment.
Why?
Well I keep asking myself over and over again, how things would have been if I would have followed my gift which is music?
Well, I guess is too late to change anything now, but is something that from time to time comes to my mind.

I ll keep the picture here, for the moments i need it:

A level down

Winter is here, people are already practicing the sport they love: ski and snowboard, or who know what else is new.
I am just remembering, and searching my soul. I remembered the Vonda Shepard song, and now I ve added it into my playlist. I am thinking that my boss is right, I have a sadness inside, something that I can not loose no matter how hard I try.
I see myself as the sun for others, but then the question is WHO is my sun? What do I need to be happy?
I do not have the answer to that now, but I am craving for something inside, and I am not sure what it can be. Maybe is love, maybe is just that. But what if? What if  I find that and I am still not happy ? What do I do then?
I need to figure this out, and I am not sure how.
I am a mean person, I am thinking always on the wrong things, I am not even sure how should i stop doing this.
I need a time of introspection again, and hopefully that will help me out.

Now, I need to get ready for another Week of work:)

Privacy again

Sometimes back I was craving for privacy and now , now I have it and it feels strange. Not sure why we as humans are always so strange. We want one thing and then when we get it we want another thing. Can we be so selfish?
Looks like I am like that. I finally found an apartment where I am alone, it can not get better is just perfect.
Today is my second night in it, and i like it but at the same time, i feel strange a little bit.
Maybe I just need to get used to it.
Anyway I m happy. Looks like my life is taking again an interesting course, and I hope that it is for the best.
I am trying to have also a private life besides work, and I hope that will be successful as well.
What else?

not much these days, looks like i am struggling to find the word.
Good news is almost December, so Christmas will be here
Happy for that!!!!

Welcome to the darkside ...

It s true. I ve reached to the conclusion that what people were telling me was true. From time to time, sometimes more often, I reach to my dark side, and there are only black things, thoughts and problems. So the question is : is this all in my mind? or i really have a dark side?
And the curiosity that I have is what would another person do if they would be in my place?
30 years old, leaving with your family, having very little privacy, no space to sing, pray or do anything else....
Is it just a childish and selfish thing the fact that I want a place of my own?
I believe the darkness and unhappiness comes from here. I have a good job, yet I am not happy with it....so why?

What else do I need, and why I am being selfish?

this is a meditation thought for this week!

Coincidence or ...hope

Special and sad day today. Sad because it has been a long time since I was part of a funeral, and today it happened, special, because lots of special small things happened today.
I was amazed by the people needs, and by their inner beliefs in regards of God.
I was surprised to see that people that I ve miss judged for sometime, actually have a huge thirst for doing good, but they do not always succeed.
And I believe that was the point of this road trip : knowing and understanding better the people around me.

Then although I did not see it coming, things got better, got better in church, because the topic of the discussion was the one I wanted, and it was just SPECIAL, and what happened after was even more special.

Ideally that one person, that makes the group change color was there, and time passed so quickly:) I find myself now thinking....or actually not even thinking but juts praying for God making us notice ....
Making us notice the people around us....and maybe, just maybe something new will flourish...

This was my day today, amazing, and in God's presence!

Leadership at a glance - To Remember

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

Hello darkness my old friend

I come to talk to you again
Because a vision softly creeping....

Well, i m back in Manchester UK, and always when I reach here, sadness hits me, i do not even understand why. Interesting question i ve received today from one of my colleagues let s say: what about your personal life? When you ll change that?

This question gets more difficult day by day. When will I change it? I have no clue, but with the current status(work and others) i m not able to focus on this. So again, coming back to a topic that I use to think about a lot in Poland ....does career mean you will not build a family?

I still do not have the answer. Yes, i have trust, and faith that good things are about to happen, but I keep telling that t myself for such a long time, and now, I am just tired.

I want something and I wanted now!
 

Old friend- Hello!!!

One of these October cold nights I had a dream of someone I use to know more than 10 years ago. And as I always try to follow my dreams , I ve googled the person and found the profile on Facebook.
I was suprised to see a huge number of pictures with the family and with the pets we always love.
A special feeling came into my heart remembering this person, and it was the nice and cozy feeling of old times, but as well a little bit of regret, and standard questions such as what if?

Long time ago, when i was young:) my life had several challenges, and blessings at the same time. I could even write a book, with the things that happened during my life and how God took me on His way, ensuring that all will be fine.

Maybe I ll do that someday,

In the meanwhile, I am just happy to see a good friend, and I am enjoying the pictures while remembering the past.

;)

Cold October

Already October, i wonder what will bring?
Cold, leaves, empty trees, and a new start, for all the students starting the new year.
I miss being a student myself. Because of what happened in my life when i was a student, i know that there is a part that i ve not enjoyed as i should have. And now is kind of late as the period went away, but still some good memories remain.

I miss him soo much. Funny thing, I thought this time and this new change will not affect me that much. And I would not say it affects me, but in my heart I feel an empty spot, and i m able to know why.
Because i was used to a certain way of communication, attention, fun, and serious conversations, and now all of that is changing because priorities switched.

Time will come when my priorities will switch and then perhaps someone else will fill just like I feel now.

I had my first discussion with her today. Our first session, and it was a very interesting one.
I looked inside my mind and my soul once again, and I ve understood some of the things that happened in the past in my professional life.

Now the question she asked was : what do you want to achieve by end of year?

Still an open question till next time:)

Sunday post

Well another week is gone, and we are ready for a new one. Let s hope this week will be easier and nicer, and as well the inspiration will follow.

Today was a special day, as i ve been part of a lovely celebration of love and union. Two of my dear friends are now no longer just a couple but husband and wife.
And this is a new dimension again, full of responsibilities and not only for one another but as well for God. 
Expectations are increasing, and suddenly is not just two people, but two and the one and only God.
Oao! What an amazing feeling that might be.
Thinking back now about the dreams all girls have to get married and be happy. Is the equation so simple?
I guess not, for sure not.
Families are united for God and they need to understand that.

Is sad if one of them does not understand that God is the foundation of the family and the marriage. And now , there is some more time to prepare for that moment, there is a time in which people who are still single, and believe in God, should try to perceive and understand the fact that the family is not made just for the sake of not being alone.

There is a higher purpose.
God , i can not ask you anything else, but this: make me ready for that special moment, open my eyes in such a way to find the person with whom I can make the family be what it is supposed to be.

I do not want to be with someone , just for the sake of not being alone. And I am sure that is not what you want from me as well.

Thanks a lot for today's day!
It was a journey!

:)

Lovely lovely weeding

Reminder of a lovely weeding and a lovely time spent in Campulung Moldovenesc

Special week - in pictures

Pictures to remind a special state of mind!

Step 4 - Dream

Dream is on hold. Booking ...not done...waiting and waiting.

Praying for some of the personal challenges we are facing.

Is this the real dream ?

Another day has come

Almost there....
Some more hours and again is Sunday, and not any Sunday, but a special one, the last one of the month of September.
You can already see and feel the weather has changed, you can feel the temperature dropping, and you feel the question mark at the end of a particular question...

Specially when you know that now winter is closer and closer, both outside and in your own heart.
The special week i ve had in September, changed me, made me more aware of the things I care, and now, i find my family as the special place i miss when i am in office.

The wedding I ve attended last week, made me understand that love exists, in different forms, and that it has no limits. The happiness I have in my heart currently and I had it as well at that wedding is amazing.

I hope that feeling that state of mind and hear will never go away.

I m still thinking of a particular question, someone asked me, sometimes back. And I am so curious about the answer. Why not?  But I am sure the answer will never be received, and now that autumn and winter is here, is kind of too late, for more in depth analysis.

I believe God is in control, He knows my needs, and other people needs, He will fulfill them....sooner or later.

Adding a song I really liked these days - it s a good memory for me....

Hakuna Matata

A week full of surprises, full of discoveries, full of introspection and self awarness.
Full of decisions, and wishes, and only few promises.
A refreshing week, like a spring rain.

I do not want to loose this feeling that I have in me now, this balance, this contentment.
I am in a very calm, and relaxed mood, and i can say that i have no worries.
I m not sure how i ve reached this stage, but i m sure what happened this week touched me in a way i did not believe it could.

Now, the promise that I ve made, and I intend to keep in that daily i ll allow sometime for me, for a small introspection to have the luxury to look inside me, and see what i care for.

And say it out laud, i care for....

Amazing , just amazing.

Step 3 - Dream

Booking is done. Soon the deal will be sealed, and then waiting.

Poland - Lublin - Summer Party

Last evening again crazy one, at Lublin Summer Party, where the theme was cowboys:)
Interesting as i did not have anything for cowboys, but the party was niceeee

And the photos are here- some of them to remind me ... about great time!

Step 2 - Dream

Funds for first set are available.....

:)

Step 1 - Dream

Tomorrow I ll complete the step number 1 for my new dream.

Let s hope step 2 will follow shortly :)


Happy!

Waiting for an answer

Agony goes on, I am not sure what is the current status of the challenge you are facing.
I m thinking and praying for you. I hope the discussions went well. I hope that you ve reached to a decision you can live with.
I was surprised with today s discussion and the comment that you ve made. Was pretty interesting. That is the reason why 2 flowers can not be in the same room, because they see the Sun differently. One flower likes the pot to have some decoration on it, and some butterflies as decorations on the leaves. The other flower just needs the sun. I always thought that these 2 flowers can not be in the same room because they do not look alike, and they do not really like each other.
Again, I was pleasantly surprised by that comment, and now i m not even sure what kind of answer i m waitin for.
I know is selfish of me to be happy about your current problem, and i m trying not to be, But today the flower discussion really encouraged me, and made me think for a moment- What if?

What if one day the 2 flowers will share the same room?

I guess is just a selfish dream, and i need to move away from it, which I am doing right know.

I know that all will be ok, and two flowers will be in the same room, but the third flower will continue to grow in her own garden.

Both of them will have a good luck and life!

Sadness

Well because not only good things are happening around us, and there are sometimes bad things happening, currently one of my dear friends is going through a big personal challenge.
Is strange not be able to help with anything, and more strange is to be km's away from those in need.
And this is the case.
I really hope that things will take the right direction, whatever that is, but I also hope that there are more Vertical discussions than Orizontal ones, cause the one and only who has all the answers is our Mighty God.
So my advice is to have the discussion on that Vertical level, and stop talking, and start listening,
Is amazing how God can talk to you, i was not sure about this, but I guess this weekend it happened, and for the first time ive listened,
and i feel that God filled my heart with joy, and a peace feeling, and i know now that no matter what will happen, we will be fine, cause He is watching over us.
And i can not wish the same thing to my dear friend, who is currently in a big challenge, God will be there no matter what,
And who cares what people say? This is our life, and we only have just one, so we should follow His advice and His commands, cause they are the right ones.

My dear friend, i am sorry for not being there with you, for not being able to hold your hand, and tell you that everything will be ok. But just for you to know, I am here, and I am thinking and praying for you, so that God will support and give you the best solution, even if is not the one you want.

I wait in silence for your sign, in order to know that you are ok, and i pray, in the meanwhile i am praying and keeping you into my mind.

Special song for you, in several occasions I ve used this song for you, and it has always worked in one way or another, so here it is again:

In Your Mighty Hand

God in your presence I would like to acknowledge my weakness and my need of You.
You are the one that gives me strenght when it seems like i ve lost it, and you ve showed me this weekend again....that i just need to be still and know you are my God.

With your help, and through your mercy , i ll move ahead with the decision i took today
But is actually not me who will put the things in movement, but I would want you to be there, every step of the way
As it was mentioned to day, is better to have the rope completed in three. Well we are not three, cause we are two: You and me, Master and student, All and nothing.

I am sure you ll give me what I need, and if is not what I want, then the time is not here yet , and i ll need to wait some more.
I want to thank you for reaching to my heart in these days, i know my heart is always full with day to day insignificant problems...but I sure want to dedicate the time you expect and to be more involved in our relationship.

God I am deciding today to be still and know you are my God

Amen!

New promise and new start....

Lublin church
As always time in church in Lublin is inspiring and makes me feel very close to God
Only singing Chawla Ciebie Panie y uwelbiam, and I am already full of emotion and joy cause i am sining to the one and only God.
Today was the time of sharing the bread and wine to celebrate God, and as I was taking the piece of bread and the small glass of wine i was renewing my committment to God.
I really want to follow Him, i really want o be a Christian, change my life once again, have moe trust and let him rule my hear by his rules and not mine.
God i m sure you are looking into my heart day to day, minute to minute. Please come and re live inside me, i want to be your child, and i want you to be proud of me, in whati do.
I am tired to only talk I want to have actions as well...
God you are good, and your love lasts forever....

And to celebrate this wonderful day, I went for lunch with some friends from church, and as i like to say 1 picture says 1000 words, so here there are: