Goodbye for now!!!

Is that time of the year again. People are all getting ready for Vacation, holiday , Christmas and New Years. I am also doing that, but at the same time i am closing and opening a new chapter in my life. A chapter in which new beginnings are more than welcomed, where there is hope and fear at the same time, and more than that there is curiosity all around these changes.
10 years since i have not felt the unknown like i am doing today - i am open to everything that will happen from today on wards. 2018 will be a great year for me, with many challenges and opportunities.
I want to live it to the full! and be happy of the great things that are ahead of myself!
So for now, i am still living the present, my home in Bucharest where all the things are packed, this place was my sanctuary for the past 3 years. Full of music, thoughts, ideas, tears and happiness.
It was good staying here, i can not wonder how it will be in the other place.
I am excited about that as well.
My friends here, the people that were around me, i will miss them very much. My foster family with the love that they filled me with, i think i will miss them the most.
I will miss my study group as well, they were an awesome group, and i ve learnt so much from each of them.
I am sure our paths will meet again, but for now is time to move on, and discover the future!!!

Sometimes you need to drop the Pony

What I have learnt today is very simple: sometimes you need to let the Pony from your hand to grab bigger things. This is my Father, He is teaching me now to let go of the things I have in my hand to have my hands free for something else. Something bigger and much more close to Him.
Dear Lord I will trust in You, I know your plans are better and more than I can even imagine so please stay with me and guide me in growing more close to You.
In Jesus name I pray!!!
Resignation date: 13 nov 2017. Free!!!

Dream Part III

I have 6 years as a New Born Christian and it feels like only today i am realizing what i want to do as a Christian. I know God will look at my desire and if is as per His will He will provide the right resources to support with the plan i have in mind.
Basically i want to take Dream II and make into Dream III, which is a welcome house for Teenagers, or people who need a place to live.
I think this would have helped me a lot in the past days when i was in this exact situation, and i know even now this will be of great help!
Lord i lay this plan here, on this page as a reminder of a Dream!
please help me to pursue it, and more than that Lord please make it as per Your needs, as i want it to honor your Name.
In Jesus name i pray, and I am very thankful for all your help in  all matters! 

The Challenge

Is November already, another year is almost gone, 2017 was a great year in so many things and i am very grateful for those.
it is time for a next challenge in my professional life, and i know i can do this, i just need to be motivated and to do it.
is time to change the team and move out of the current status to something greater. It was a good run, but now it needs to come to an end, and to a fresh start.
is ok to be scared, is not easy to move to a new place and start over after 10 years of professional life, it is not easy to let go of the things that are granted. But the reality is that nothing is granted in life except one thing which is Jesus, and that is through grace not merits.
is a challenging time the one that is now coming, and this is because of this change that will happen, you need to be steady, no sudden moves, is like a strategy, impulse should not be part of the process. decisions need to be well measured in order to ensure the change is for the best. you will find a way in case something goes wrong, do not allow yourself to be covered in fear. A little fear is ok to have, but do not go towards more than it should be there, and there is one thing, if God is with you, who can stand against you ?
there are many promises that everything will be ok, and i choose to believe that. I chose to believe my God that everything will be fine!!!

Friendship

Almost end of October, all things are in line with the weather and the changing seasons, and this is why i have also been informed that one of my team members is planning to move away from the current activity to something new and probably more exciting. I got attached to this person, i got really attached and she is one of my closest friends, i can speak with her and be open about many things including spiritual stuff that i usually do not share with many people.
And now i am just selfishly sad because she is choosing a better opportunity for her , opportunity that does not include me, and this makes me really sad.
But nevertheless i need to learn to let people go, and be happy for themselves for what they want to do.
Like someone said this weekend - accept that maybe someone is better than you at some stuff, and also a piece of advice from me to myself - you are not the center of the universe!!!
i think i have given and i have received many things in this relationship and now is just time to explore it to the next level.
I am very grateful, for this person, as she was my family in the past 1 year and a half, she took care of me even without realizing, and this is even more amazing.
I am thankful to my Lord as this is how He is taking care of me, through the people He puts around me!
It is time for a new era! May God be honored through this friendship further!

Thoughts, just thoughts no definition

I live for me, i reached to this conclusion when i heard these ladies in church singing - my heart s desire is to praise You Lord. I do things to honor God, or at least i think so, but i just come to a realization that i am doing them for me, and for my pure pleasure. I love life, or at least part of it, i like that i travel , that i do hat i want and i have the money to help me do that. But what if, what if all of these would be gone, what would i say than? do i find my joy and happiness in God? or is just something that i say with my lips but do not feel with my heart?
i am just an average Christian, and right now i am not sure if i can even call myself a Christian.
When did i became such a superficial person? Maybe what happened a couple of days ago is a clear message to stop living for me, but to start living for something more than that. And yes, i used to say always when i am driving or flying or doing something with a bit of risk, that i need to be fine with God in case something happens. Well in that day, that Monday, i did not pray, i did not do anything , i lived for me once again. Took my purse, the key to my car, and confidently went out...i should have pried before i left the house, i should pray more often.
i need to change something in the way i see things, i need a revival- i want to remind myself why am i here, and what is my purpose, cause or i ve never knew , or i forgot because i feel so confused.
i struggle with the fact that all my friends are married or in relationships, but i never struggle with my faith, or i rarely do, and for a very short period of time.
i never fast, i never sacrifice anything for the Love of God, so what does this say about my faith?
i will focus more on what i do and why i do, i need to live for something more than myself.

in Jesus Name!
amin  

09 October 2017

Monday in my home town is always nice, but this time it was a different Monday,  a pretty scary one. Sometimes you just loose control in various parts of your life, often is your personal life, or your professional life or even your spiritual one. I am the kind of person who struggles a lot when the control is lost even if rationally i know i do not have it. I am a Christian so by default i know God is control, hence i can not let it go.
This Monday, i lost control, and not any kind of control but the car control. I was driving with my sister in the right sit, and i slept on a bit of water, and there it was....fraction of a second, the car had her own personality and started to do whatever she wanted. I could not do anything but hope and pray it would stop.
It did not stop, so we basically crashed the foot of a bridge and return back to the road. There was smoke, and police, and ambulance , and fireman's and all the drill.
It was one of the scariest ( or just the scariest) moment of my life, for simply two reasons - one that i could not stop what was going on and second because i had my sister with me, and i knew things will not end well.
Through God s grace, we are fine both of us, some bruises here and there, some small lacerations, but the car is too expensive to be repaired so basically is going to be sold piece by piece, a bit sad for my Audi A3 lovely machine.
I wanted to cry, and let out this scary part, and all the feelings accumulated, and the stress, but there was not enough time to do that, so i am still waiting to see , when i will feel the pain, the fear and then the relief that nothing happen in order to let it all out.
Someone wiser than me, a dear friend , told me simply - you do not need to act, or to be always the tough one. Is ok to let go...
But she did not tell me how to do that!
so this week i will search for some inputs or advice's online on how to let it go , and how to express emotions and show vulnerability
No one died or was injured, so it was a good day after all.
Audi A3 - May you Rest in Peace, and thank you for being a Loyal friend! you are going to be missed.

Dream part II - completed - Yeiiii!!!!!!!

so here i am back in Bucharest but my second dream came true. i have a house in cluj napoca, and i am currently ensuring the floors and walls are being done.
i am very excited about this new chapter of my life. Even if i am not there i am still happy about the fact that i ve managed to do this.
i said once that by the time i am 30 i ll have my own house, i am 4 year late, because i ve helped my sister to get hers, but all in all i am happy with this achievement.
Now there is a new goal - family related - is time to build a family!
so Step 1 - i need to find my better half, let s see how that search will go

blessed beyond measure!!!

Dream part II

Almost thereeee

Just wait for it!

thank Lord for everything!!!!!

Broken heart

A person suffers sometime from a broken heart. A heart can be broken by many factors. For sure number one reasons for having a broken heart is related to people, being them family members, or boyfriends, or girlfriends, or even parents. The second reasons for having a broken heart is disappointment and discouragement - often time we are disappointed in a certain situation, or due to certain causes, and we feel our hear ache, and then break due to the pain felt.
The third reason for which i believe someone might end with a broken heart, is the sadness within, is seeing how others are happy and how their dreams are fulfilled and realizing how their life is not as they would like it to be.
Today, specially today i feel like i am in this category and i have a broken heart because of this reason number 3. I look around to my friends, specially girls friends, and i see them happy in different stages of being women s - some of them flirting, some of them entering in relationship with man s, some of them engaged, some of them married, some of them pregnant and the remaining ones happy mum s.
And this is the moment when i feel my heart aching the most. Because although i have a great career, i do what i like most of time, i traveled the world and i continue to travel the country, seems like i am not at all happy or satisfied.
I always wish what i do not have, I wish to rejoice in the above things that would make me feel as well as a woman.
Now the question is...what does it mean to be a woman? I do not want to answer today to this question cause i am afraid of what will i find as answer, but this is something that i would like to tackle in of the future posts.
I wish for something to happen in my life, i wish to flourish as a woman being in one of the above stages! this is new for me! i did not know i want or miss that , or if i did i was not able until now to verbalize it as i am doing.
So therefore i am placing a formal request to the one an Only Provider of all things, with this in mind, and i need to keep my faith that He will work at this request.
The challenge is that He will not give me a registration number for the request...so ...i will not know when He or his team will work on it.
It s time for patience!!!

But i need to keep my faith!

Happy Birthday to MEEEE!!!

Every year as time goes by i am making this post to celebrate and commemorate my birthday.
This year i simply do it with a delay of 11 days. Some of you might ask why i still do it....well i just do not want to miss a chance to put my thoughts down as i age year after year, called a tradition or something else, does not matter, i really like to do this.
So on this 34th birthday o was actually in Carna , Dolj, i chose to be among people i knew but also some new people and it was a good celebration. Different than the one in the last 2 previous years, but yet with nice things.
I had received a very nice cake for this celebration, and i enjoyed that, i even had a candle and i made a wish. This year i remember it - my wish was to find someone in my life, so it was more of a romantic wish, now we will see further on if this wish will come true this year, next years or never, it s all in God s hands.
How do i feel aging? well i do not want to make a summary for this, i guess is the same feeling that everyone gets when they age. I want to be younger but i like where i am now. God blessed me with many people around me and many things to be happy with that age is just a number, and in the end is about serving Him, at that can be done at every age.
I am excited about this new chapter, i am sure there will be a lot to write about in the time that will come, as of now, i am good, i am happy and i am grateful for everything.
More about this...as always in pictures!!!!!

Stories from Carna, Dolj, Romania

I am back in Bucharest after a amazing week in Carna , Dolj county. If you are curious just google this location and get acquainted with some of the beauties there. This is a small village near the Danube, and it was affected by flood 10 years ago. Since then , every year a group of people from Northern Ireland, Cluj and Craiova go visit the people during Winter for a weekend and during summer for 1 entire week.
There have been many initiatives here in Carna, from rebuilding the houses that were no longer there due to the high waters, to the kids club, the football club and the teenagers support.
Despite the weather conditions, and the heat that i ve experienced this week, the rest was great!
Amazing to spend time with my brothers and sisters, and to worship God but also to practically help others. It was a very intense week, full of dynamic activities, and more than that, a week who took me back in time when i was one of those teenagers in search for God.
I remembered and celebrated the fact that there was an encounter i had with Him, and that i am therefore saved, from my earlier life but also from my sin s.
There are not enough words to share what i have experienced and what was that triggered me to consider maybe to go again back to Carna, i ll add some of the pictures soon.
I praise the Lord, and i ask Him to give me more His eyes to see all the simple needs people have.
It was healing at a spiritual level, and i am very grateful!

2017 first seaside escape

Every year from Bucharest people run to the seaside very early such as 01st of May.
This year due to the fact that i was not in Bucharest for a while i did not manage to escape at the seaside earlier than June, and i only went there for half a day.
i was really happy to see the sea and the people, to feel the sand under my feet.
Of course it was already full of people, even people who were actually bathing in the sun and in the water although the water was still cold.
the trip was with one Japanese friend that visited Romania and also had a chance to visit me in Bucharest. it was a pleasant trip and i am looking forward for the next one

Team Building

I am a very sociable person, and this why i like getting people together and having fun with the through many interactive activities.
Therefore this year still in May i was invited to support one event with some people from an IT company. I have gladly accepted the invitation, and i had the opportunity to be in an amazing place in Romania, called Colibita. This is basically called also as the sea between the mountain, because is a very big lake, surrounded by mountains, more in the pictures below.
I had 3 great days, with many activities that i have coordinated as well, met very interesting people who were keen to tell me things about their own life. I had a real good time.

Amazing Japan

May 2017 will be a year i will always remember for one thing, or more. It s the year whene  i had the chance to visit and experience the real Japan and japanese culture.
Before this trip that was for 2 weeks and a couple of days, i was pretty stressed and concerned if i would be able to fit it and enjoy this experience. As you all might know there are many rules and things you need to know before you travel to this country. Many things around how to behave, what to do in particular situations etc.

I had the chance to visit more areas ...reached Tokyo then went to Osaka, Shikoku on the island, Osaka again, Kyoto, Shonandai and then back to Tokyo and back to Romania.
It was a missionary trip so being in the same place for more than 2 days did not really happened. We visited many churches and had the chance to be with brothers and sisters worshiping the same God.

The nature is amazing in Japan, the weather was great, not hot, and a wind blowing always making it really pleasant to walk around. We visited parks and temples and we were amazed by the beauty that surrounded us.

Had the chance also to see the Ocean, and the beaches around, along with some wonderful bridges, i ve enjoyed this a lot. We went with various transportation methods from plane, car, bus, train, speed train, boat etc and this made it more amazing.

Had the chance to see a real sunrise from the boat, and it was amazing. I loved the lights on the sky and the water as the sun was going up, but as well the light on the city.

We had a great experience from what we ate, who we met and what we ve seen, and i very grateful for this .

Some pictures to remind me the story of Japan

Born again - and i am 6 years old

03rd of April 2011 - 03rd of April 2017

this is a good thing to keep track on. Is the moment when everything has ended and everything has started again. It is the moment when God s grace saved me and i had the privilege to be born again .
in the same body , in the same life, in the same shoes but with a completely new heart , a heart craving to be filled by the love of God, a heart wanting to be touched by Him everyday.
i am excited that time is passing, and i am able to count my blessings and i do not exaggerate

, God blessed me with more than i deserve, he made my life full of everything i need to walk with Him. Even so often times i am not able to follow Him as i should, and for that i repent and ask for forgiveness.
Is a celebration , is a good day to remember, is the most important thing that happened in my life! and it was all because of Him.
THANK YOU!

Year end 2016-2017

I just realized today, actually now that i did not mange to share any pictures here from the New Year, and i do not want to leave this moment unspoken because it was a great experience in Lepsa Vrancea where i had the chance to meet new people and to connect with other kind of maturity levels.
I have enjoyed the interactions and it was really great, that is why i am sharing couple of pictures as a reminder of a good time

Enjoy a bit of Spring in Italy - Milano

Women are special and usually women like to do things to remind them how special they are. This was the kind of trip that we have decided to do in Italy, more specifically in Milan.
We were a bunch of ladies ready to explore and enjoy what a weekend can offer. And it was really nice!
Good weather, nice views and lovely company!
Of course not to mention the good food and ice cream that we had a chance to have!
As always i will allow the pictures to speak more than me, and to be a reminder to the times to come .

Blessed Be Your Name

All is left for me and for all of us is to bow in reverence in front of our Mighty God.
Why? simply because He is our Father and He is the One and Only, the Way, the Truth and the Life.
It was a hard week, full of different emotions, it was the week in which i was 6 year old. 6 years in Christ, still with challenges and with frustrations, but also with achievements and progress.
And this week was challenging from various angles. I am not used to be afraid, I am not used to realize once again that i am helpless and yet I did.
I felt fear, despair and insecurity, and somehow then He lift my soul up and through it all He gave me peace.
I am thankful for how this week went, and how i ve overcome this trial, i am thankful that He did not leave me alone in the moment of despair, and i am happy.

Psalm 1:3 - "And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper"

Dream - started part II

Who would have thought , that by now i would start a part II for one of my dreams. I find it hard to believe myself, but God is good, all the time, He is always here to support me and keep me safe.
I am building my future or someone else s future.
I am very happy with the step i took and i am looking forward to see what will happen next and how will be the developments of my next plan.
i am happy i am listening to this show at the radio. being able to hear my brother singing life is an amazing gift. He is great and i can not help it but have some isolated regrets about who i am and what i ve become.
I am a succesfull woman but still when i look at him i can not compare myself with his greatness. the only thing is that he does not know my Father, the one and only that has been helping me when no one else was.
I am amazingly blessed, and i need to stay positive.

THANK YOU LORD!