Decisions again and again and again

What can i say.
from time to time i get the chance to take big decisions in life. I m sure all of you get this particular chance. I am hoping you acknowledge the impact. And this is a hope i have for me as well.
I took a decision yesterday, and the time spent with God to decide toegther wes very little, so was this the good idea? am i trying to control my hand, or am i letting myself in His hands.
a new project a new beggining, not many people get that a new beggining.... so i should be happy with that.
On the other side , i have ahead of me, many many days of loneliness. Or u never know if will be lonely days or not really. Time is flying so 18 months will be gone in a second. I sure hope so.

I need to be content, is a great opportunity. It gives me time to explore and to learn new things. Also, I need to stop the feelings i have towards Cluj. That is what takes me back. If something might happen, it will even if I am in Bucharest or in Cluj.
They need to have the courage to speak, and the confidence to know what they want.
I should not be attached anymore, i need to find strings here, and be happy here.
Please help me do that.
I needed really badly.

Amin.

Another year is gone! Happy Birthday to me!

Well i can say i am happy!
I am happy cause i have people who love me, and who miss me, and i feel that every step of the way.
And today was the day in which it felt like everyone was part of it: from home, friends, work colleagues- 202 wishes on Facebook, many messages and phone calls.
But the most special think that happened, was this, that left me speechless: 

Amazing! I love these guys, i really do!!!

For ever

My first instinct is to say and confirm that nothing is for ever. What if? What if this is for ever? How can u be sure if for ever is forever? Is such an interesting question that i kind of want to analyze and think over. Someone says i moved here forever. How can u know? What if life will take u somewhere else? Like me for example, i never thought my life will take me in any place i was. Even now and this experience. I am not sure why is it happening in my life, and why am i here, when maybe i was so close to something back in my city. I admire the force of the people who have the courage to say what they think. Sometimes i feel like i am a mouse, a terrified mouse sitting behind everyone with no courage to speak up. And why is that someone might ask... well when life is hard u become a very tough person, but not in the sense aggressive but more of a very protective with one self. U have layers and layers of protection  and feels like no one will be able to bring them down. And it feels safe.
I thought that as we grow old the need for safety will decrease as we will have more responsibilities and maybe others to make feel safe, but the fact is that we are still focused on keeping our heart and soul safe. And often we are trying so hard to do cope with this challenge, that we forget to actually live and enjoy life without worrying for our walls that have been just broken.
Patience my friend someone might say. It is still early and u are still learning and discovering the way of life.
5 more days. How will life be then? time is passing so fast, and seems like i m often celebrating alone, in the presence of my Holy Family - Father , Son and Holy Spirit.
Will be a great celebration, i m sure of it!