Perfect sister

 A post just for her. 

She means the world to me, and I think she does not know it, because I do not tell her too often, or maybe never. But she is the most important human being in my life, along with my mother. She is my precious sister, and although is not full blood that keeps us together, she is still the best sister anyone could dream off. 

I want to dedicate this post for her, so that when she or anyone else reads it, would know about the fact that sisters, are not in the same family just by luck, they are meant to be together, that is how God provides. 

She is 7 years older than me, but I think she is at least 100 years wiser than me. I remember when we were just kids how much she loved me, she was always around, at home, in school, outside everywhere. I remember her beauty, 2 long tails with beautiful ribbons, and a wonderful dress that she was wearing at school every day. 

I remember sitting at the window of my room, waiting for her to appear at the corner of the street, the corner that had a lamp, or sometimes I would see her further away, just a glimpse and it made me so happy that she was coming home. 

At this stage I do not recall our fights we had as kids, I just remember her picking me up from class, every time I did something stupid, and despite the fact that she was losing her hours, she use to take me home to grandma without any comments or regrets. 

She was always there for me. I remember the first stuffed bear she ever gave me. She just took him from the closet, and she gave it to me. It was the most beautiful thing that I received even now. It was a small bear, beautiful, and I cherished it very much...till I did not have him anymore. But it is still in my heart, that bear and the love that he had inside. 

My sister is the strongest person I have ever known. I am not sure why God allowed so many things to happen to her, but it is amazing how determined and strong she is. Nothing beats her down. 

I am nothing compared to her, and I admire her love for the life that she has. She is perfect in my eyes. Full of weakness, like all humans, but with a huge heart and with a great determination and energy to fight for her live and for us, the dear ones she has. 

We have many memories together, memories from times when life was very easy, and we had bears, and toys, and puppies to keep us both happy, but also form times of fear, cold and loneliness. 

Times when both of us did not see the way, or the direction we should take, but somehow together we were able to find it, of course guided by the Holy one. 

I remember the days and the nights, when we were both wondering what will happen to us. Those nights, those cold nights are the one that impacted us so hard, physically, and mentally. We are grateful for sure, for coming out of the struggles, but there is always a price to pay, and the price she is paying is bigger than mine, and that makes me feel so bad. I should have been able to make it better for her, but I am not able. There are things that I cannot control, especially when it comes to her, and that is so very hard for me to process. 

Nevertheless, life has been good to us, and I am so grateful to be with her, and to have her in my life. I admire her deeply, and I miss her more than ever now when I am alone, and I have so much time to think about many things. 

She is a wonderful person, and I take pride that people say that we are much alike. I think there are many things we have in common, and I wish she would know that I take pride in those. 

I am sometimes tough with her, but this is because I feel like I want to do things to fix everything that is bad in our lives, and I cannot do it, and I guess I do not want to accept, that my perfect sister, is now less perfect. But that is not the end of the story, when I look at me, and at everyone else, I see that no one was ever perfect, and that is the story while we are here on Earth. 

But there is a place, where things will be different, where all who accepted Him will be perfect, and will be living together, there will be no more pain, and suffering and no more tears. I am looking for that place, and my deepest desire is for my sister and for my mum to be there as well. 

I am so grateful that life gave me a sister, someone to share things with, someone who can guide me when I do not know what to do, someone who accepts me with all my nerves, moods, and mistakes. I am grateful that someone is waiting for me, and thinking about me, if I am fine, or if I am hurting. 

In that and more than that, for the connection we have in our minds, I am grateful for the best sister I could ever had. And I am looking forward to going back home and explore further the future together. 

Life has not been easy, but sisters are always together, is just how it is.