Today my third day in a public hospital in Romania so i am learning a new dimension of service and being served.
I can not complain a lot cause things have been good so far people are nice doing theiir job as best as they can. The surprise was the difference between private and public, I felt it on my own blood vessels so to say. But I got used to it.
It is amazing how quickly we just get use to it. This is the drill we learn it and adapt.
Is a bit scary to be here and see so many peopeople going into surgery coming back and so on. I am just trying to cope and help if I need.
I just take my medicine once per day directly in my blood and that s it. I sit quietly and try not to cause problems for anyone including myself.
In terms of my problems there seems to be something that needs to be checked and reviewed in another MRI , which is a bit scary. I had a quick emotional rollercoaster earlier and thought my life might end very sudden.
Surprise was i got scared and I felt the tears approaching. The good news , I am not emotionally numb, I am just not showing everything as everyone else does. I am handling emotions differently.
Now till I will find out what is wrong with me I need to try to live my life differently like ...I have very little time. And see what actions and reactions I would have to that.
As I am writing this my heart skips some bits.
The reality is that I am being broken. Gentle in a loving way but broken.
I am learning to live with God differently than before . I am no longer invincible through my powers. I will be invincible through Him.
I want to embrace the form of the cross. I want to be like Him and honor what He did for me.
I know that without Him I am helpless. SonGod please stay with me, be my shield like you always were. Guide me and protect me like you always did.
I do not want to worry in vain , help me be wise.
In Jesus name I pray
I can not complain a lot cause things have been good so far people are nice doing theiir job as best as they can. The surprise was the difference between private and public, I felt it on my own blood vessels so to say. But I got used to it.
It is amazing how quickly we just get use to it. This is the drill we learn it and adapt.
Is a bit scary to be here and see so many peopeople going into surgery coming back and so on. I am just trying to cope and help if I need.
I just take my medicine once per day directly in my blood and that s it. I sit quietly and try not to cause problems for anyone including myself.
In terms of my problems there seems to be something that needs to be checked and reviewed in another MRI , which is a bit scary. I had a quick emotional rollercoaster earlier and thought my life might end very sudden.
Surprise was i got scared and I felt the tears approaching. The good news , I am not emotionally numb, I am just not showing everything as everyone else does. I am handling emotions differently.
Now till I will find out what is wrong with me I need to try to live my life differently like ...I have very little time. And see what actions and reactions I would have to that.
As I am writing this my heart skips some bits.
The reality is that I am being broken. Gentle in a loving way but broken.
I am learning to live with God differently than before . I am no longer invincible through my powers. I will be invincible through Him.
I want to embrace the form of the cross. I want to be like Him and honor what He did for me.
I know that without Him I am helpless. SonGod please stay with me, be my shield like you always were. Guide me and protect me like you always did.
I do not want to worry in vain , help me be wise.
In Jesus name I pray
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