Sunday, 12 April 2015

Happy Easter everyone!

Easter one of the biggest Christian holidays, and now is over.
Time passes so fast, is like you do not get enough time to do whatever you feel like doing. And here i mean introspection and thinking about life and yourself.
This Easter is the first one in Bucharest, once again new location no family and no friends. Not an easy or pleasant way to spend holidays. But still it was a blessed time, as I ve managed to enjoy myself and reconnect with God. I had a good time  thinking and introspecting into my soul, feelings and fears. I watched a movie as well yesterday, and the lady in this movie was taken to see her deepest fears. A question was raised in my mind: Which are my biggest fears? that should be a good subject for introspection. What am I most afraid off?
I am an extrovert, or people just say so, but then why i feel sometimes that i need to lock myself in and never get out? Is this some kind of break that i need? is this because of my various complex's?
I am not sure , and i am not even sure that there is an answer to this, and if there is, do i really want to know it?
Maybe this is how depression starts, with small breaks from people, with taking time alone, and then while you look inside yourself you realize....you re sad.
I m not like that, i do not want to be like that. Depression is not something for me. It will not get me at all. I am praying for this.
But coming back on Easter, I had a long drive from Bucharest to Valea Prahovei, and we went up to see the mountains, it was a very nice experience, fast one as I would have liked more time in isolation, just admiring God's creations.
I have just a couple of pictures as a reminder, for this experience:


The real issue here is that I miss him a lot. And i was not aware i have this dependency and it s affecting me so much. I am taking a small break to see how do I feel without him. But being apart and not communicating is not easy, and I do not like it.
It s a constant subject in my prayers, it will get easier as days are passing by.
And if it is harder i know it might be harder for both, and then we shall be triggered into acceptance or something else.
Every time I go away something like this happens. I should be used by now ;)
Happy Easter!

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