Interesting question received today, or challenge discussed - are we serving God or some idol?
And the discussions started in my mind and i am sure in other people minds as well. I believe in God, but still most of time, i am thanking Him for something He gave me, or I am asking for more things. In recent days, I find myself sometimes praying shortly for others, but that s kind of it.
Well today a very passionate pastor, which seems like I like how he preaches, said: Is God only a waiter? we just ask for Him, when we are in need, where we need something, is His role only to provide? is this sooo simple? I thought it was, but I was shocked by this discussion, and when he read his prayer, the one he had for his friend, I was more amazed if even possible, I just started to cry, small tears, and i felt my heart squizing in some sort of pain, or regret. Well in his prayer he mentioned that he would rather be sick, or in a wheelchair and know God than walking without Him, and that if by any chance there are limited numbers in Heaven, he would give his place to this person, cause he would be happy just to have 1 minute in God s presence ....
He mentioned even that if he would go bellow, and not in Heaven, he would still be strong in his faith, cause no one can take your faith and what you believe inside.
It was a true inspiration, and i felt really bad, cause I have my family, my friends and strangers who are not believers in God, and I never thought about switching places - i was just selfish.
Today 's preaching was of the above, but also about being desperate, and be caught in a place from which you do not want to go out and you expect someone ( Jesus ) to pick you up.
I was not self aware about this till today, but I am doing that. I believe when I look at my life that it was no good, that i could not do music, that i am not perfect, that i want to loose weight, and i want to be healthy and beautiful....but i m not doing much about it- i am just complaining like the man from John chapter 5, i am not doing much to change any of the above. I am not doing much to change my job, to buy a house, to do something that means something for me.
Well I am weak, desperate, and I need to be more alive, i can not live in the past anymore. I do leave in the past, i can not leave my luggage down.... i am caught in the eyes of the black dog - almost depression.
I know that if people who know me would read that, would say it is not true;who? This girl who is always happy and joyfull and optimist? It s all a mask to serve people and to make people feel good, i am a different person once you start looking inside. I want to accept this person, i want to accept that i am not always happy, i do not want to entertain the people, sometimes I want to be entertained.
There are not many people who know me well - who had a look into my soul - I never dare to ask those who did see my soul , how is it?
I need to work on my self awarness more, but I want to remember this day, cause this day was one that made me think about some things i never think off.
Thank you Lord for speaking directly to me, thank you for your mercy, and please forgive me if sometimes i am treating you like a waiter.
Amen
And the discussions started in my mind and i am sure in other people minds as well. I believe in God, but still most of time, i am thanking Him for something He gave me, or I am asking for more things. In recent days, I find myself sometimes praying shortly for others, but that s kind of it.
Well today a very passionate pastor, which seems like I like how he preaches, said: Is God only a waiter? we just ask for Him, when we are in need, where we need something, is His role only to provide? is this sooo simple? I thought it was, but I was shocked by this discussion, and when he read his prayer, the one he had for his friend, I was more amazed if even possible, I just started to cry, small tears, and i felt my heart squizing in some sort of pain, or regret. Well in his prayer he mentioned that he would rather be sick, or in a wheelchair and know God than walking without Him, and that if by any chance there are limited numbers in Heaven, he would give his place to this person, cause he would be happy just to have 1 minute in God s presence ....
He mentioned even that if he would go bellow, and not in Heaven, he would still be strong in his faith, cause no one can take your faith and what you believe inside.
It was a true inspiration, and i felt really bad, cause I have my family, my friends and strangers who are not believers in God, and I never thought about switching places - i was just selfish.
Today 's preaching was of the above, but also about being desperate, and be caught in a place from which you do not want to go out and you expect someone ( Jesus ) to pick you up.
I was not self aware about this till today, but I am doing that. I believe when I look at my life that it was no good, that i could not do music, that i am not perfect, that i want to loose weight, and i want to be healthy and beautiful....but i m not doing much about it- i am just complaining like the man from John chapter 5, i am not doing much to change any of the above. I am not doing much to change my job, to buy a house, to do something that means something for me.
Well I am weak, desperate, and I need to be more alive, i can not live in the past anymore. I do leave in the past, i can not leave my luggage down.... i am caught in the eyes of the black dog - almost depression.
I know that if people who know me would read that, would say it is not true;who? This girl who is always happy and joyfull and optimist? It s all a mask to serve people and to make people feel good, i am a different person once you start looking inside. I want to accept this person, i want to accept that i am not always happy, i do not want to entertain the people, sometimes I want to be entertained.
There are not many people who know me well - who had a look into my soul - I never dare to ask those who did see my soul , how is it?
I need to work on my self awarness more, but I want to remember this day, cause this day was one that made me think about some things i never think off.
Thank you Lord for speaking directly to me, thank you for your mercy, and please forgive me if sometimes i am treating you like a waiter.
Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment