As I am slowly enjoying the passing of the years, in my 40's if i can say that, I am realizing that things are changing when you reach this age. Some things are shifting and I am longing for something more.
I was always the kind of person that was not bothered by what others were doing, how I was perceived, or at least I was trained not to pay attention to things that were hurting me.
But now, after experiencing so much loss in my life, specially with Raluca's passing, I find myself feeling everything and wanting more connection from my existing relationships.
Of course they do not know that this is what I need cause i am not such a vulnerable or communicative person, well I am, but for superficial things, not for the ones of the heart.
Therefore I sense that I want more, but I am not sure how to get more.
I feel this sadness all around me, I feel the pain of not having someone to share all of this with.
Not necessary a man, a companion, although that would be nice as well, but just a kindred spirit, someone curious about my feelings too, not just someone who uses me to release their emotional tensions, and then they move on to the next attractive thing in their agenda.
It seems also like a form of rejection, or of not being sufficient for others.
Perhaps is a phase, but the reality is that the perspective in your 40's changes a little bit, and I am accepting it.
I am accepting and acknowledging the change and the emotions that come with it.
May it be for the better:D
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