Almost there....but disappointed

 The past weeks were very intense for me, and it feels like I can not recover and get back in shape. 

I feel many emotions and I am all over the place. It is like I just react to different things without a proper evaluation, and just jumping in with all the emotions that I was not aware I could have. 

I wish I was able to do what I want more often than I actually am. I miss the days of freedom that I used to have when living in Bucharest or in Lublin or anywhere else as a matter a fact.

I like living with more people, but I am like overwhelmed and tired of all the issues and the requests, I feel like I am a full time mum, with a challenging job, and without having any maternity time. 

I wish I was calmer, and I would show more empathy, but the reality is I do not want to. I want to ...actually be wild and stop pleasing others. 

I please everyone, and this needs to stop somehow. 

I am almost there, the bridge of another year adding to my life here on Earth, and I do not have a decent explanation for the anger I feel inside, I am not proud of it , at all. 

I hope I can calm myself and be focused on my deliverables for work and for the household. 

Sadness is wrapping me around. 

I need to find a way...to come back.