Sunday mid afternoon, and i am at home. Weather looks really nice outside, but still it is too hot to go and roam around. So is better to sit inside, and watch some movies, read or listen to Abba :)
Yes these are my days. Although i am constantly motivating myself that it is great, the fact that i am here in Lublin alone, and i have my own place, my own dog, my own life, oao i am so satisfied. And this motivation works for some days, one, two, three even for a week. But then....one morning you wake up with an emptiness in your heart and soul, and you realise you are all alone.
I am a people person, i like people around me, and here, i miss them a lot. I am tired to talk in English and not in romanian, i miss my friends, i miss going out for a drink, and ice cream or karaoke. I miss spending time with my family. But, it is not time yet:).
This is a great experience i think. It will teach me to deal with the lonliness, and to start feeling happy with myself only.
I need to focus my attention more towards God.
I know He loves me, i know He is here with me every day, when i am happy or disappointed or alone, but still...it seems i still miss people.
Interesting no? It should not be like that.
God please help me in leaning on You when lonliness comes to me. There were a lot of people who made it, they sat alone for some time and time and time, and they become better persons that they were, God i want to be transformed by Your hand.
I am sorry for being such a spoiled kid. I know that You have give me all that i need here in Poland and still sometimes i am not happy or gratefull. God i know that all that i do not have here is because it is not needed yet. I know that You have a plan for me, and your plan is that I stay here for the moment, alone, feeling and knowing You better.
This is what i will focus on God. Knowing You better:) I think this is my opportunity.
Thank you for giving me this chance. Please forgive me ...
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